Test for Finding the Perfect Mate

[Sparkle Pony]

Quote:Divorce and dysfunctional marriages are everywhere. Parents want their children to do better than they did. God created love, marriage, and sex. He knows more about these things than all counselors and sociologists combined. Here are score sheets from the Bible for men and women. Measure a few friends to get the feel. Let the scoring criteria and their definitions provoke conversation. Parents, do not violate the pass/fail rule (Pr 31:30).

Fill out these forms to weed out the bad dating choices for your kids, and set them up with the perfect mate.

women:
http://www.letgodbetrue.com/bible/practi...-women.pdf

men:
http://www.letgodbetrue.com/bible/practi...te-men.pdf

[lucrezaborgia]

Out of the womanly qualities, I've produced the women who fit them.

Quote:Domestic: Cooks well, cleans well, entertains well, orderly, always made-up, neat, always prepared, esteems domestic duties, motherly

Quote:Self-starter, go-getter, motivated, responsive, confident, committed, goal-oriented, bold, hustler, dynamo, competitive

Quote:Respectful, worshipful, honors parents, afraid to displease authorities, deep, intense, loves leaders, adoring, grave, meek

Quote:Laughs discreetly, doesn’t joke or jest, avoids foolishness, hates comedies, introspective, serious, prefers weighty discussions

Quote:Forgiving, trusting, believing, hoping, kind, longsuffering, forebearing, patient, discreet, humble, modest, generous, gentle

Quote:Pure, modest, virgin, blushes, marrying type, off-limits reputation, modest clothing, pure speech, pure friends, avoids evil movies

Quote:Hates popular music, movies, fads, and thinking; no fear of peers, not easily influenced, hates political correctness

Quote:Enjoys working out, not sports ignorant, competitive, can handle sweat, coordinated, intense, physical, fit, conditioned

Quote:Understands its honor, its pleasure, its purpose, its danger; thinks Solomon’s woman should be typical, not exceptional; understands “to burn,” considers it very important

Quote:Knows how to dress, can be sophisticated, classic outfits, flattering clothes while modest, creative, great overall presentation, accessoriesKnows how to dress, can be sophisticated, classic outfits, flattering clothes while modest, creative, great overall presentation, accessories

NONE OF THESE ARE REMOTELY THE SAME WOMAN!!!!!

[exOBCstudent]

LOL! That list is just like the crap they used to teach too! I'm glad I didn't get that list when I began dating my wife. I'm REALLY glad my wife didn't get it while dating me too!

[boymom]

Half of those 'virtues' I would consider serious faults, and wouldn't want that type of girl around my son. Namely, the more meek and submissive crap. And how can one 'despise man's wisdom' but 'crave instruction'?

[Bob M]

(04-16-2012 12:03 AM)Sparkle Pony Wrote:  

Quote:Divorce and dysfunctional marriages are everywhere. Parents want their children to do better than they did. God created love, marriage, and sex. He knows more about these things than all counselors and sociologists combined. Here are score sheets from the Bible for men and women. Measure a few friends to get the feel. Let the scoring criteria and their definitions provoke conversation. Parents, do not violate the pass/fail rule (Pr 31:30).

Fill out these forms to weed out the bad dating choices for your kids, and set them up with the perfect mate.

women:
http://www.letgodbetrue.com/bible/practi...-women.pdf

men:
http://www.letgodbetrue.com/bible/practi...te-men.pdf

Is this serious?

Here are some characteristics:

ATTRACTIVE
S.S. 4:7; 8:10
(Hair, eyes, face, lips, teeth, skin, distinct features, breasts, waist, legs, lean, proportionate, shapely, graceful, fit, favored)

This makes me want to vomit. Young women see these things and end up with eating disorders. I have a close friend who died from one and I want to shake these people so hard they end up with concussions, but I guess that isn't very Christian.

[amyrose5]

Eating disorders are a lot more complex than seeing this dumb list include the word "lean".

That said, when I taught at Christian school there was not a single overweight girl in the high school in six years. Another teacher and I regularly heard the sounds of vomiting in the girls bathroom between our rooms and found laxatives or empty boxes from them in there regularly. I don't think the epidemic had anything to do with the word "lean" on a list like that and much more to do with an expectation of absolute perfection, the complete lack of control many of them felt over their own lives and futures, and the fact that those who were not naturally inclined to be girly girls and love all things domestic had to fake it and deny their natural talents and interests.

[Bob M]

(04-16-2012 11:02 AM)amyrose5 Wrote:  Eating disorders are a lot more complex than seeing this dumb list include the word "lean".

That said, when I taught at Christian school there was not a single overweight girl in the high school in six years. Another teacher and I regularly heard the sounds of vomiting in the girls bathroom between our rooms and found laxatives or empty boxes from them in there regularly. I don't think the epidemic had anything to do with the word "lean" on a list like that and much more to do with an expectation of absolute perfection, the complete lack of control many of them felt over their own lives and futures, and the fact that those who were not naturally inclined to be girly girls and love all things domestic had to fake it and deny their natural talents and interests.

Its not just the word "lean." It is the general expectation that a woman must have certain physical fitness to be desirable. And this is just one example. IN my friend's case, it was one conversation. Her boyfriend when she was 15 said "You could stand to lose a few pounds." She was about 5'7" and 115 lbs when he said that. It stuck in her mind and she could not shake it, even with counseling.

[amyrose5]

If the cause of eating disorders was that simple, very few people in America would NOT have one. They are extremely complex and have much more to do with perfectionism, a lack of control in some or all aspects of life (their body/food becomes a focus as it is within their control), family dysfunction, the presence of other untreated emotional disorders, and new studies are suggesting a metabolic or chemical component and evidence of genetic tendency.

Notice cultural/social issues are only one component and is emphasized less than others in this link:

http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/n...atCaus.pdf

In this article, from a treatment program, you will notice that the conclusion is that societal/cultural norms do not cause eating disorders but rather reinforce the behaviors:

http://www.raderprograms.com/causes-stat...auses.html

In short, your friend did not develop an eating disorder because of someone telling her she should lose weight. Other causes likely already existed, such as family dysfunction, neuro-chemical issues, other emotional disorders, etc...

[Bob M]

(04-16-2012 11:43 AM)amyrose5 Wrote:  If the cause of eating disorders was that simple, very few people in America would NOT have one. They are extremely complex and have much more to do with perfectionism, a lack of control in some or all aspects of life (their body/food becomes a focus as it is within their control), family dysfunction, the presence of other untreated emotional disorders, and new studies are suggesting a metabolic or chemical component and evidence of genetic tendency.

Notice cultural/social issues are only one component and is emphasized less than others in this link:

http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/n...atCaus.pdf

In this article, from a treatment program, you will notice that the conclusion is that societal/cultural norms do not cause eating disorders but rather reinforce the behaviors:

http://www.raderprograms.com/causes-stat...auses.html

In short, your friend did not develop an eating disorder because of someone telling her she should lose weight. Other causes likely already existed, such as family dysfunction, neuro-chemical issues, other emotional disorders, etc...

Ok, well you knew her better than I did, then, I guess.

[dramaturge]

(04-16-2012 11:47 AM)Bob M Wrote:  

(04-16-2012 11:43 AM)amyrose5 Wrote:  If the cause of eating disorders was that simple, very few people in America would NOT have one. They are extremely complex and have much more to do with perfectionism, a lack of control in some or all aspects of life (their body/food becomes a focus as it is within their control), family dysfunction, the presence of other untreated emotional disorders, and new studies are suggesting a metabolic or chemical component and evidence of genetic tendency.

Notice cultural/social issues are only one component and is emphasized less than others in this link:

http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/n...atCaus.pdf

In this article, from a treatment program, you will notice that the conclusion is that societal/cultural norms do not cause eating disorders but rather reinforce the behaviors:

http://www.raderprograms.com/causes-stat...auses.html

In short, your friend did not develop an eating disorder because of someone telling her she should lose weight. Other causes likely already existed, such as family dysfunction, neuro-chemical issues, other emotional disorders, etc...

Ok, well you knew her better than I did, then, I guess.

Eating disorders are very complex. I don't have to have known your friend to agree with AmyRose: she didn't abuse herself to death because of a single statement from a boyfriend. I'm certain that phrase verbalized is what she heard over and over in her head, and perhaps she stated for others that his statement was the reason for her disorder, but I guarantee it was far more complicated and deep-seated than a single sentence uttered one time. Eating disorders are symptoms of deeply-rooted issues, and like other addictions, are a life-long battle, even for those who "overcome" them.



As to the OP, gross. What immediately jumped out at me (besides the ridiculous idea that "attractiveness" would mean the same thing to everyone who's looking) is that after the intro sadly noting divorce rates, etc., and how parents want better for their children, you're expected to judge the future spouse by their parent. That's healthy. Yes, it is.