How did you leave?

[Master_Of_Irony]

I'm still here. But I checked out mentally in middle school. You see, i went to public school. And there was this social thing after school. I wasn't allowed to go because the flyer for it had a clip art picture of people dancing, even tho there was no dancing at it whatsoever. That was the first thing that kinda made me think over whether i wanted to be a part of this. Was it out of bitterness and selfishness? Maybe. But it wasn't too soon after that that I really started noticing everything else. I even started doubting whether I believe the Bible or anything anymore, but I never lost that for good. The Pauline Epistles really helped with that.

[bean]

Checked out mentally for three years. Got the nerve one sunday to go somewhere else.
Small town...it's kinda awkward...
a few people have said hello here and there but mostly havent heard a word...
My church wasn't totally "fundy" but certainly leaned that way. I had grown and I think the church had really changed too, becoming even more conservative in views. I just couldn't do it any more.
Was it easier than leaving an IFB church? Probably. Was it easy? Nope. Very awkward in a tiny town when you don't move.
I have no idea what is being said about me one way or the other, and don't really care. I hope it would be positive. If not, that's ok too.
People need to know I had my own reasons for leaving and haven't "left my salvation" all that one might hear after leaving.

That's the short story. If anyone REALLY wants to know the whole story I will share it. Nothing bad or extreme at all, just the story of a guy who got tired with rule based religion... Considering myself very lucky reading stories from all of you. Wow. Most of you have been through so much....
peace and blessings
bean

[aisforazebra]

Moved out of state. Easy!

Funny thing is, I didn't really see how messed up my church was, and how badly I'd been treated by certain people, until I'd been out for a while.

Hindsight is 20/20, I suppose.

[EmilyKing]

(04-11-2012 11:20 AM)Master_Of_Irony Wrote:  I'm still here. But I checked out mentally in middle school. You see, i went to public school. And there was this social thing after school. I wasn't allowed to go because the flyer for it had a clip art picture of people dancing, even tho there was no dancing at it whatsoever. That was the first thing that kinda made me think over whether i wanted to be a part of this. Was it out of bitterness and selfishness? Maybe. But it wasn't too soon after that that I really started noticing everything else. I even started doubting whether I believe the Bible or anything anymore, but I never lost that for good. The Pauline Epistles really helped with that.

I went to public school K-12 too, and I think it's a big reason why I ended up leaving. Even though I got persuaded to go to HAC, I knew in the back of my mind that my former friends weren't evil just because they weren't fundy. It also made leaving easier, because I wasn't clueless as to how the rest of the world works.

[notdrinkingthekoolaid]

(04-12-2012 08:31 AM)EmilyKing Wrote:  It also made leaving easier, because I wasn't clueless as to how the rest of the world works.

Learning how to function in the real world when you are 30 is SO not fun. I don't think I was completely naive, but there has been a huge learning curve and that's the area I've had to work on most.

[Bill]

How I left is not safe for work

[pastor's wife]

All the people who've been around here a while know my story. My husband and I tended to be fundy-lite, though we'd had a little experience with some more extreme types (my parents were stricter than my small - 50 member - GARBC church). My husband liked to call himself "balanced" and he preached Scripture not opinion.

Then the associate pastor at our church shared with him some books on the missional movement and he became convicted that we were not doing what God expected us to be doing (Mt. 25 - sheep and goats). He began to preach about reaching out to our community and not walling ourselves off. A deacon realized that was going against the fundy agenda, didn't like it, decided to leave, and had meetings in his home convincing other people how "wrong" my husband was. Over the next year, over 75% of our church members left. We decided we were free to change our format, our worship style, and our church name. We've been maligned and shunned and preached against, but we want to follow Christ not man.

Losses: reputation, friends, friends for our kids, harmony with relatives, finances
Gains: deepened sense of our need for Christ, exuberant delight in freedom, joyful and passionate contemporary music, unity with Christians from different denominations, greater understanding of the beauty of grace, a growing realization that God LOVES me, and the clarity that it is WRONG for me to try to manipulate God by being such a good girl that He's forced to keep bad things from happening to me. Oh, yeah, and I can wear pants to church if I want.