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Jeremy · 02-26-2012, 07:22 PM

(02-26-2012 06:06 PM)senda wales Wrote: Oh, this thread.

Ok, so I've dated 2 guys since the new year. Great way to start 2012! Met them both salsa dancing in Silicon Valley - great way to meet nerds who are artistic, fun, and athletic. I've really tried to focus on just enjoying myself and having fun when I'm out on a date. I try not to think about whether this will make it to date #2, 3, etc. or if I'm gonna see the guy again.

Distance from fundyland and all of the associated guilt has helped me feel a lot more comfortable in my own skin. I think I still come across as conservative and probably boring to those who lead wilder lifestyles but at least my nervousness from fundy guilt doesn't crimp on my style now.

Salsa dancing is MONEY, although the odds are slightly better for me, haha. I've found that on Okinawa it's a great way to meet beautiful, smart, classy girls who also have better odds of speaking English. And since there are so few other guys, I'm always in high demand, even though I'm not that good yet Smile

Jeremy · 02-26-2012, 07:29 PM

(02-26-2012 06:16 PM)Elijah Craig Wrote: Hmmm.... here in Silicon Holler the only dancing that happens is some sort of hillbilly gavotte.

I suppose if I went to a "club" I might find some grinding or something but I try to stay out of those places.

Salsa clubs are entirely different. Of course, you have to sorta know what you're doing, but all it takes is the basic step and two or three moves and you'll be in business. And it's way classier. You just ask girls to dance instead of grinding up on them out of nowhere and hoping they like it. Coincidentally, you also get to dance with a whole lot more girls. And have human being conversations with them. Plus, if somebody knows how to salsa it means they at least have the character to learn a skill, which is a good start. It's a win-win.

Elijah Craig · 02-26-2012, 07:46 PM

I've salsa danced exactly once in my life, in Fells Point (or was it Little Italy?) in Baltimore... about 7 years ago.

**senda wales** · 02-26-2012, 08:39 PM

(02-26-2012 07:29 PM)Jeremy Wrote: Salsa clubs are entirely different. Of course, you have to sorta know what you're doing, but all it takes is the basic step and two or three moves and you'll be in business. And it's way classier. You just ask girls to dance instead of grinding up on them out of nowhere and hoping they like it. Coincidentally, you also get to dance with a whole lot more girls. And have human being conversations with them. Plus, if somebody knows how to salsa it means they at least have the character to learn a skill, which is a good start. It's a win-win.

So so so true from the female perspective too.

**senda wales** · 02-26-2012, 10:43 PM

(02-26-2012 07:22 PM)Jeremy Wrote: ]
Salsa dancing is MONEY, although the odds are slightly better for me, haha. I've found that on Okinawa it's a great way to meet beautiful, smart, classy girls who also have better odds of speaking English. And since there are so few other guys, I'm always in high demand, even though I'm not that good yet

My experience has been the opposite - there are far more guys than girls so my odds are much better.

**Tiarali** · (This post was last modified: 02-27-2012 06:01 AM by Tiarali.)

Ok, now you've got me wanting to go learn dance or something. Too bad I'd need a regular babysitter, lol. Not going to happen.

Edit: Hmm... there's a latin dance class near me, and they go over some basics at the beginning of each night so it doesn't matter if you miss some. And I can get an irregular babysitter. It isn't expensive, either.

IFB No More · (This post was last modified: 02-28-2012 12:11 AM by IFB No More.)

Some lessons I have learnt so far, when I observe ladies floating to guys.

If you want to win a girl, you need to be interesting in your own way, give others an "in-control" sense - that you don't look like a little kid who freaks out easily. It is not true video-game nerds don't win girls - I've noticed several who are addicts and yet still have a dating life. I observe girls like guys who are well-versed in the world (not the biblical def. of "worldly" but you know, street-smart-type of worldly) and who can pose themselves well. The saying that men get better with age like wine stands true here.

In my context, I guess after spending five years in fundy-land, I really did not have a chance to develop my personality. This I did much catching up here in America. I now have a rough idea what I like, what sort of person I am etc. I don't fear as much as anymore... I was surprised how a simple abstract words of encouragement my PCA campus minister gave - "God will always be with you no matter what situation you're in good or bad" - had such an effect on alleviating my fear.

While I haven't got into a relationship yet, I am in a far better position for one as of now - and am quite sure what to do next - Go out and socialize more, acquire more experience in life, be chill and don't be afraid to do things, and eventually I'll find Ms. Right.

**senda wales** · 02-28-2012, 04:27 PM

I'm currently dating a gamer nerd. Gaming in itself is not a turn-off. Sleaziness, creepiness, desperation, insecurity, and lack of ability to articulate anything interesting are. Desperation also comes across as creepy.

Elijah Craig · 02-28-2012, 04:55 PM

(02-28-2012 04:27 PM)senda wales Wrote: I'm currently dating a gamer nerd. Gaming in itself is not a turn-off. Sleaziness, creepiness, desperation, insecurity, and lack of ability to articulate anything interesting are. Desperation also comes across as creepy.

Maybe I should pick up gaming and drop the other habits.

**MKxcomm** · 02-28-2012, 04:57 PM

(02-28-2012 04:27 PM)senda wales Wrote: I'm currently dating a gamer nerd. Gaming in itself is not a turn-off. Sleaziness, creepiness, desperation, insecurity, and lack of ability to articulate anything interesting are. Desperation also comes across as creepy.

Hilarious! Smile

I met my husband at a free salsa lesson on campus so there's that. People always say that guys "need to be confident" but that wasn't necessary for me. A lot of girls just want someone who is genuinely interested in them. I just wanted to be loved for who I was. Listening is a great tool! And if you aren't actually interested in what they're saying find someone who you think is interesting so you can have an actual conversation with them Smile