beliefs?

[steviusthedevious]

going into fundy u (bju in my case), i knew i wasn't cookie-cutter in relation to accepted beliefs of fundyism. i had strayed into calvinism, and belief in post-tribulational rapture. by my junior year, i had added pacifism to the list, and a healthy disregard for historical-grammatical hermeneutic.

as of this point, approximately a year after graduating, i find myself to be questioning a lot of what i was taught, even before i headed into college. i am moving toward a high-church mentality, i believe myself to be amillenial in eschatology, and there are rumblings of disfavor concerning the church's current stance on homosexuality, hell, and literal interpretation on all points. i strongly disallow for violence, and hold utter disdain for the american church's stance on war. (when i say church, i mean that which i have known - baptist, fundamentalist, strongly protestant/american heritage. mainline denominations may be different.)

i nearly left all things christian after i graduated. i probably would have, had it not been for my fiancée-wife. i was (and at points, still am) bitter and disillusioned. it wasn't so much that i had seen rampant abuse of power, but that i had been set up for failure. at one time, i believed all the right things, but this brought me no closer to God. this brought me to the point at which i gave up on believing the right things. i believe that God chose me, christ bought me, and the holy spirit illumines me, but everything else is up for grabs. it's freeing to know i can wander, but not be lost.

in what ways have you ended up different despite all the best efforts of fundy u to put forth cookie-cutter christians?

[Faith]

Oh wow. Well, I didn't go to a Fundy U but I got 15 years of church and school indoctrination.

I am:
A woman (relevant because they told me I was a man)
Free
Confident in God's grace

I am not:
Nationalist
Racist
Homophobic
Sexist

I believe Jesus is coming again, I don't care when. He said he's coming back, and I believe him. I believe in infinite grace extended to all who call upon the name of Jesus, open communion, the priesthood of all believers, all the gifts of the Holy Spirit, and the sanctity of life. I believe that God created an infinity of diversity, and that all things God created are good. I believe that Jesus calls me to follow his example above all else, and that there is grace enough for all the many times I fail in that.

I believe that I ought to be in bed by now.

[steviusthedevious]

(01-04-2011 12:39 AM)Faith Wrote:  I am not:
Nationalist
Racist
Homophobic
Sexist

i still have my issues with homophobia and racism, sadly. i'll chalk it up to 10+ years of being taught that such people are 'second-class citizens'. i think i need to be exposed more to people outside my level of comfortability. i regret not speaking with the soulforce group when they were on bju campus a couple years ago.

would you mind explaining the transformation from man to woman, specifically how you knew you were a woman, and the emotional/spiritual fallout of being raised as a man? my curiosity is piqued.

(01-04-2011 12:39 AM)Faith Wrote:  ... all things God created are good. I believe that Jesus calls me to follow his example above all else, and that there is grace enough for all the many times I fail in that

hay-men!

[Smith]

That is amazing. Things aren't so cut and dry that they become boring. The best to you Faith.

[Faith]

(01-04-2011 01:04 AM)steviusthedevious Wrote:  would you mind explaining the transformation from man to woman, specifically how you knew you were a woman, and the emotional/spiritual fallout of being raised as a man? my curiosity is piqued.

I know I'm a woman the same way you know you're a man. It's something you just know.

The fallout of being raised a fundy boy? You want me to condense 20+ hours of therapy into a forum post? Self-loathing, depression, anxiety, self-doubt, negative body image, those are the high spots.

The defining episode of my childhood was when I was 8, my mom caught me sleeping in a dress (yet again) and told me -showed me in the Bible even- that I was an abomination before the Lord. Imagine what that did to my self-image, my relationship with God, and my relationship with my mom.

The situation was this: I had this knowledge that I could not un-know, I could not change it no matter what I tried. But everyone around me and even my own body told me I was wrong, that I was sick and perverted and rebellious and unworthy of love, I was so wrong to that God hated me. Self-loathing seems a mild term to describe what I felt.

I'm healed now. It took nearly thirty years and sadly the death of my mom, along with hours of therapy, hours of prayer by and for me, and a personal encounter with the living God. And somewhere along the line I began living the life God created me to live, as the woman God created me to be.

But you know what? Now I'm stupidly happy, happy for no apparent reason, like a big dumb yellow Lab. I am finally filled with the joy I sang about as a kid but never had. I know the peace that passes all understanding.

[Katerpillar]

(01-04-2011 07:56 PM)Faith Wrote:  

(01-04-2011 01:04 AM)steviusthedevious Wrote:  would you mind explaining the transformation from man to woman, specifically how you knew you were a woman, and the emotional/spiritual fallout of being raised as a man? my curiosity is piqued.

I know I'm a woman the same way you know you're a man. It's something you just know.

The fallout of being raised a fundy boy? You want me to condense 20+ hours of therapy into a forum post? Self-loathing, depression, anxiety, self-doubt, negative body image, those are the high spots.

The defining episode of my childhood was when I was 8, my mom caught me sleeping in a dress (yet again) and told me -showed me in the Bible even- that I was an abomination before the Lord. Imagine what that did to my self-image, my relationship with God, and my relationship with my mom.

The situation was this: I had this knowledge that I could not un-know, I could not change it no matter what I tried. But everyone around me and even my own body told me I was wrong, that I was sick and perverted and rebellious and unworthy of love, I was so wrong to that God hated me. Self-loathing seems a mild term to describe what I felt.

I'm healed now. It took nearly thirty years and sadly the death of my mom, along with hours of therapy, hours of prayer by and for me, and a personal encounter with the living God. And somewhere along the line I began living the life God created me to live, as the woman God created me to be.

But you know what? Now I'm stupidly happy, happy for no apparent reason, like a big dumb yellow Lab. I am finally filled with the joy I sang about as a kid but never had. I know the peace that passes all understanding.

One thing I'm confused about, is that you claim that you are really a woman, but you were obviously born physically a boy. Can you find Scripture to prove that sometimes God makes the mistake of putting a woman in a man's body?

[Faith]

(01-04-2011 09:29 PM)Katerpillar Wrote:  One thing I'm confused about, is that you claim that you are really a woman, but you were obviously born physically a boy. Can you find Scripture to prove that sometimes God makes the mistake of putting a woman in a man's body?

Nope.

As to why I think God might allow such a thing to happen, see John 9:1-2

[Katerpillar]

(01-04-2011 09:38 PM)Faith Wrote:  

(01-04-2011 09:29 PM)Katerpillar Wrote:  One thing I'm confused about, is that you claim that you are really a woman, but you were obviously born physically a boy. Can you find Scripture to prove that sometimes God makes the mistake of putting a woman in a man's body?

Nope.

As to why I think God might allow such a thing to happen, see John 9:1-2

That's a case of a man being born with a disability. If a woman is born in a man's body, that wouldn't be a disability, that would seem to be a curse, since the Bible makes it very clear that a man is not supposed to have sex with another man.

[Faith]

Katerpillar, not everything that exists is mentioned in the Bible. Before you start an argument, please take the time to learn the other side. A good place to start would be wikipedia. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transsexualism

[steviusthedevious]

(01-04-2011 07:56 PM)Faith Wrote:  I began living the life God created me to live, as the woman God created me to be.

But you know what? Now I'm stupidly happy, happy for no apparent reason, like a big dumb yellow Lab. I am finally filled with the joy I sang about as a kid but never had. I know the peace that passes all understanding.

thanks for this

it helps me personally when i come in contact with people that are different than me, and i see how God is working even though i don't understand. hearts/stars/horseshoes all 'round