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paul · 10-28-2011, 09:27 AM

Posted this on facebook. Curious what the folks here think.

What is the difference between want and need? Why do we refer to someone in the negative when they are called "needy", but we all want to be wanted ("I want you to want me")? Do you want to be wanted, needed, or both?

**Presbygirl** · 10-28-2011, 10:07 AM

I like this Paul! Definitely both for me. And yes, needy does take on a negative context most of the time, doesn't yet? Yet, spiritually I am as needy as they come and Christ willingly gave His life for me and He was not needy in any sense of the word.

Most of the time, "wants and needs" are portrayed in terms of physical things. But, there are so many different kinds of wants and needs aren't there? Physical, spiritual, emotional.... And yet, even more complicated is that what might be a need for one is a want for someone else. Like, someone who craves " words of affirmation" might actually need them to be emotionally satisfied, but someone else might say "oh no, for me it's definitely physical touch or quality time". You know, the The Five Love Languages " by Gary Chapman?

I like these food for thoughts you post Paul. They really make me think. So many different discussions to be had on this one! Smile

paul · 10-28-2011, 10:25 AM

(10-28-2011 10:07 AM)Presbygirl Wrote: I like these food for thoughts you post Paul. They really make me think. So many different discussions to be had on this one!

Thanks. Most of my struggles are private in the details, but I try to boil them down to the core issues. Often it isn't until I'm getting close to an answer that I post here and on facebook. Yes, guilty of wanting to see if my answer is "normal" or not. Then I often get answers that don't fit my details. Wink

But if it gets people thinking, that's great.

And thanks, hint taken. Wink

I've been meaning to read that one for a while. I need to try and find it this weekend.

**Scorpio** · 10-28-2011, 11:20 AM

(10-28-2011 09:27 AM)paul Wrote: Do you want to be wanted, needed, or both?

Rather than worrying about being wanted or needed, you should be out soul-winning. Jesus wants and needs you to do that.

How's that for a Jesus juke? Big Grin

**Natalie** · 10-28-2011, 11:32 AM

Shut up, Scorpio. ;op

Okay, now that I've said that, it's both for me.

**Scorpio** · 10-28-2011, 11:45 AM

(10-28-2011 11:32 AM)Natalie Wrote: Shut up, Scorpio. ;op

Okay, now that I've said that, it's both for me.

I found this at Merriam-Webster:

needy (nee-dee) - See Natalie Tongue

lucrezaborgia · 10-28-2011, 11:50 AM

"What is the difference between want and need?"

Wants can be things we don't need, but needs can be wants.

"Why do we refer to someone in the negative when they are called "needy", but we all want to be wanted ("I want you to want me")?"

Some people are raised with the philosophy that needs are a negative aspect and that one should be selfless at all times. This kind of philosophy ignores the irony that in order to be selfless, we have to be giving to someone else's need. We can't all be selfless all of the time.

"Do you want to be wanted, needed, or both?"

Both!

**Natalie** · 10-28-2011, 11:51 AM

(10-28-2011 11:45 AM)Scorpio Wrote:
(10-28-2011 11:32 AM)Natalie Wrote: Shut up, Scorpio. ;op

Okay, now that I've said that, it's both for me.

I found this at Merriam-Webster:

needy (nee-dee) - See Natalie

*adding to my to do list for today, "not speaking to Scorpio"*

Ricardo · 10-28-2011, 11:54 AM

Needs are a sign of weakness. Wants are a sign of strength.

**senda wales** · 10-28-2011, 12:08 PM