A little about Faith

[Faith]

My parents started going to Marquette Manor Baptist Church when I was two. My dad quickly became a member of the deacon board, and of course we were there every time the doors were open. At 3 I entered kindergarten at the church school. I graduated from their high school 15 years later. I started out as a little kid who loved everybody including Jesus, and I left as an angry anti-theist loner determined to never set foot in a church again. Mentally I had quit fundyism by the time I was 12, but it's hard to leave when you can't get a job or drive.

My fundy experience wasn't especially bad due to any kind of physical or sexual abuse. I think my parents were pretty good as fundy parents go. What caused me to turn so vehemently against God and the church is that I'm a very different sort of girl, a kind of girl fundies don't want to admit is part of God's creation. Fundies told me I was an abomination before the Lord, and worse than that they convinced my mom to tell me so when I was 8 years old. Let that sink in for a bit, if you were raised a fundy kid I think you understand the impact that had.

If you haven't read many of my posts you're probably thinking "What could she have been doing at 8 that her mom said that to her?" When I was born, my parents thought they had a baby boy. So when my mom caught me for the umpteenth time being a little girl and wearing a pretty dress, out came Deuteronomy 22:5. Fundies had her convinced I was going to turn out to be gay, and we all know how bad that is. And it would all be HER fault, because we know people aren't born gay or transgendered - it's always their parents' fault.

Fast forward 28 years. I have finally (sadly, thanks in part to the death of my mom) found the courage to be myself outside the closet. "But where to go, what to do? I'm not a bar girl, I don't like to work out. That gay church seems safe. Wait, what is God doing in here?" God's grace and goodness are amazing, God can redeem us even when we have given up on God. Along with my physical transition has come emotional and spiritual healing, God has truly transformed the whole of my being! God has used my experience for growth in my family's life as well. My dad and my sisters have seen how God has worked in my life, and they've re-evaluated their positions on what it means to be a Christian.

I never expected that life could be this good. I never thought that I could be so filled with joy, and have such peace.

[Jenn]

thanks for sharing this. it is really good to meet you and hear your story. so awesome that you found hope.

[Phatchick]

While not gay myself I have several good friends who are GLBT and my church's contempt for them was one of (many) reasons I'm no longer a fundy. Welcome and big zen hugs.

[Beaker]

Hi Faith! My Church school played basketball with your Church school.

[Faith]

And despite being 6 feet tall, I was not on the basketball team. It's hard to force someone to play basketball effectively.

[Beaker]

(01-01-2011 05:30 PM)Faith Wrote:  And despite being 6 feet tall, I was not on the basketball team. It's hard to force someone to play basketball effectively.

I only meant to say that I've been in that church building. This would have been late 70s to early 80s. I played basketball, but not very well. I'm 6'3" and rode the bench for four years. But, I got to go on road trips, so it wasn't all bad!

[Faith]

You are from my older brother's era then. He was 6' 5" but also not on the team, but that was because he was too heavy to compete. I graduated in '91.

[Jenn]

I watched TransAmerica on HBO last night and I was completely mesmerized by it. Can't quit thinking about it all day today.

[Faith]

That's probably the best movie about it, but it's still not a realistic picture. I didn't like how it was sexualized, that plays right into the perception a lot of people have that this is about sex. It's not, it's about identity. And I didn't like the stereotype of trans women as falsely hyper-feminine. Our gender expression varies a lot, not all of us go through our lives dressed to the nines. I'm a truck driver by trade, I love working on cars and trucks, and most days I wear jeans and a t-shirt.

[Jenn]

Thanks for letting me know your take on it. This is the sort of issue I was really scared to address head on in my fundy days. Better just to pretend it doesn't really exist.