Who is an ex-fundy?

[SomethingFundy]

(07-10-2012 10:11 AM)exOBCstudent Wrote:  

(07-10-2012 10:08 AM)SomethingFundy Wrote:  /fundy lite more than anything is where I fit in and I balance between that or just saying forget all of this.

Fundy-lite is the easiest option but it still has kept my in-laws in bondage to the Fundy church and they suffer financially because of it. It may be less concentrate, but it's still a deadly drug.

yikes Oo

I don't see the point of a lot now days. Mainline Christianity is annoying me because I see so much fundyness and no one really cares for the people who are hurting and spiritualize so much crap.

My degree is going to be useless and it's only good for being a chaplain assistant and no real job outside of a fundy church. so either way I am stuck =\

[JimE]

I went with others.
Just "no longer self-identify as a fundamentalist" is the metric I would use. It is all about labels and it takes time to accept that one is no longer a fundamentalist. For those who choose to leave, most of the transition takes place in Fundyland. For those cast out, most of the transition occurs outside of Fundyland.

[exOBCstudent]

(07-10-2012 10:35 AM)SomethingFundy Wrote:  yikes Oo

I don't see the point of a lot now days. Mainline Christianity is annoying me because I see so much fundyness and no one really cares for the people who are hurting and spiritualize so much crap.

My degree is going to be useless and it's only good for being a chaplain assistant and no real job outside of a fundy church. so either way I am stuck =\

You are the master of your own fate. It may SEEM like there isn't anything you can do right now to change anything but you'll only truly be "stuck" if you believe that. A chaplain's assistant MOS still requires an accredited degree AND a sponsoring authority like the SBC or something like it. If you're currently working towards an UNaccredited degree than you are seriously shooting yourself in the foot.

Why not go for another MOS and have the military pay for some REAL college training? That's the way I had to go and it's what helped to get me out of all the IFB mess I was deeply stuck in.

[Tooktheredpill]

(07-10-2012 10:06 AM)exOBCstudent Wrote:  I wish I could've chosen both options 4 and 5 for a couple personal reasons.

First, you can't really be an "ex" fundy if you never leave in the first place. If you never openly separate from the cult, members there will constantly be trying to pull you back in and the pressure is too easy unless you draw your line in the sand. That was the only way I was able to literally break free from all the bondage and intimidation they had on my family and I.

Second, I really find it important that a person be WILLING to question every. single. thing. they were taught while in the cult, including the so-called "fundamentals". In order to be SURE you've got the truth you really must put it ALL to the test and study it out for yourself. Once you learn the depth of lies and brainwashing you've been through there really is no other way to keep your remaining sanity other than to fact check everything and trust no one until you figure some things out.

I'm an ex-fundy because I've verbally and literally separated myself from ALL things IFB and even related to it. I now question every teaching I hear from a person standing behind a spiritual position of "authority" and am determined to never let myself be fooled again. My relationship with my Lord will not be easily taken advantage of by any man EVER again if I can help it.

This. You don't have to reject the fundamentals, but you should at least be willing to subject them to some form of scrutiny....

[Papa Bear]

I'm willing to accept anyone as an ex-Fundie who no longer self-identifies as Fundie. I choose this definition for three reasons:

1. Questioning, let alone rejecting, the man-made rules Fundies hold most dear is enough to anger Fundies, who will then push this person farther away.

2. When one first leaves Fundamentalism, one tends to have more questions than answers. It took me some time to figure out what I believed, but I was certain about a handful of things I didn't believe.

3. Different people leave for different reasons. Even when the underlying reasons are similar, the particular events that trigger questioning and/or leaving the movement are different. We each head our own direction, and it's hard to predict either which direction or how far in that direction a person will end up in time. We are not all moving toward a common destination. What we have in common is that we are all moving away from Fundamentalism.

If you end up as an atheist, or agnostic, or member of a non-Christian religion, or Orthodox, or Catholic, or Liberal Protestant, or Conservative Protestant, or Presbyterian, or Evangelical, or Southern Baptist, or even Fundy-lite, (yes, I know, some of these categories can overlap, and I'm sure I left someone out) and you assume that everyone who leaves Fundamentalism ends up where you did, and insist that those who don't haven't truly left fundamentalism, that only your flavor of Ex-Fundies are true Ex-Fundies, you have that attitude in common with the Fundies who insist that their flavor of Fundies are the only true Fundies, whatever your beliefs.

[SomethingFundy]

(07-10-2012 11:36 AM)exOBCstudent Wrote:  

(07-10-2012 10:35 AM)SomethingFundy Wrote:  yikes Oo

I don't see the point of a lot now days. Mainline Christianity is annoying me because I see so much fundyness and no one really cares for the people who are hurting and spiritualize so much crap.

My degree is going to be useless and it's only good for being a chaplain assistant and no real job outside of a fundy church. so either way I am stuck =\

You are the master of your own fate. It may SEEM like there isn't anything you can do right now to change anything but you'll only truly be "stuck" if you believe that. A chaplain's assistant MOS still requires an accredited degree AND a sponsoring authority like the SBC or something like it. If you're currently working towards an UNaccredited degree than you are seriously shooting yourself in the foot.

Why not go for another MOS and have the military pay for some REAL college training? That's the way I had to go and it's what helped to get me out of all the IFB mess I was deeply stuck in.

I am probably going for 42A. Paper pusher, option for a 2x6 contract.
going to have to get a boat ton of waivers

[Mominator]

(07-10-2012 09:18 AM)Bob M Wrote:  Larry Oats wrote his Doctoral Dissertation on Fundamentalism. He basically defined it as Evangelicalism with Separation. Others re-defined it as secondary Separation, becuase everyone practices separation at some level, but only fundy's separate from people who do not separate.

Since leaving, I generally call someone a fundy if they add numerous rules to the Christian life that are not central to the Bible.


Examples.

KJVO
Anti-CCM
No pants on ladies
No beards on men
No mixed bathing
No makeup


You get the picture.

I REJECT FUNDAMENTALISM.

I had Larry Oats for Baptist Heritage 'cause ya know, I needed to understand the Baptist lineage all the way back to the Separatists in England. Although I enjoyed history, that was a lot of money to spend in college that really didn't prepare me for the real world, nor did it help me grow as a Christian.

I heard girls can wear pants on campus. Is that true?

My niece was employed there a few years ago, and MBBC would bank her hours so they didn't have to pay her overtime. I told her when she leaves to go to the EEOC and get her back pay.

[Bob M]

(07-10-2012 02:16 PM)Mominator Wrote:  

(07-10-2012 09:18 AM)Bob M Wrote:  Larry Oats wrote his Doctoral Dissertation on Fundamentalism. He basically defined it as Evangelicalism with Separation. Others re-defined it as secondary Separation, becuase everyone practices separation at some level, but only fundy's separate from people who do not separate.

Since leaving, I generally call someone a fundy if they add numerous rules to the Christian life that are not central to the Bible.


Examples.

KJVO
Anti-CCM
No pants on ladies
No beards on men
No mixed bathing
No makeup


You get the picture.

I REJECT FUNDAMENTALISM.

I had Larry Oats for Baptist Heritage 'cause ya know, I needed to understand the Baptist lineage all the way back to the Separatists in England. Although I enjoyed history, that was a lot of money to spend in college that really didn't prepare me for the real world, nor did it help me grow as a Christian.

I heard girls can wear pants on campus. Is that true?

My niece was employed there a few years ago, and MBBC would bank her hours so they didn't have to pay her overtime. I told her when she leaves to go to the EEOC and get her back pay.

They can wear pants on campus for certain things. Last time I was up to date, they could wear them off campus to work too.

[EmilyKing]

(07-10-2012 11:36 AM)exOBCstudent Wrote:  You are the master of your own fate. It may SEEM like there isn't anything you can do right now to change anything but you'll only truly be "stuck" if you believe that. A chaplain's assistant MOS still requires an accredited degree AND a sponsoring authority like the SBC or something like it. If you're currently working towards an UNaccredited degree than you are seriously shooting yourself in the foot.

Why not go for another MOS and have the military pay for some REAL college training? That's the way I had to go and it's what helped to get me out of all the IFB mess I was deeply stuck in.

What exOBCstudent said.

I'm going to Saint Leo University online, have taken CLEP and DANTES tests to get credit for many of the basic courses, and have yet to pay out of pocket, except for minor expenses like books. Yeah, it sucked to spend 4.5 years for a degree I can't use, but it would be dumb to use that as an excuse for the rest of my life.

[Tiarali]

I think that a person who is a fundy is a person who has allowed a church/pastor to do their thinking for them. They fit into a mould.

An ex-fundy, then, is a person who's left that and started thinking for themself. They will start looking very similar to a fundamentalist, as they gradually examine things in their life. They are free to keep whatever beliefs seem reasonable to them at that time, and throw out whatever beliefs do not add up under scrutiny; the list on both sides of this fence will change over time.

So, ex-fundy is a person who has taken control of their faith and their belief - which means there is a wide spectrum of ex-fundies and no two will look alike.

I think it is very offensive to most of us when somebody still thinks it is ok to act in an extremely offensive manner, and the only way their behaviour could possibly be explained is that it is left over from fundyland. I don't think a person is free to be degrading to people of different races, sexes, sexualities or belief systems whatever your excuse. So, if you've left fundyland but still act like a prick, you need to deal with that.