+- SFL Forum (http://www.stufffundieslike.com/forum)
+-- Forum: Fundyland (/forumdisplay.php?fid=5)
+--- Forum: Fundy Memories (/forumdisplay.php?fid=6)
+--- Thread: Are your old fundy friends still your friends? (/showthread.php?tid=746)
Are your old fundy friends still your friends? - chris1000bc - 03-13-2011 11:15 PM
I was talking to my sister about some of her friends from pcc (we both went there). Some of them were in ensemble and loved every speaker who came to pcc. They were pcc people. My sister was not. So we were talking about how she does not really fit with those people now.
How about you and your friends from fundyland or fundy school? If you went back as you are now...could you stand yourself back then or your friends from there now?
To give my answer:
If I could go back, I would not like hanging around someone like me in high school. I was a hard-core fundy and thought I was right about everything. My friends in college all live states away, but were all good guys who didn't drink the fundy cool-aid.
RE: Are your old fundy friends still your friends? - exIFB - 03-14-2011 01:44 AM
Nah. I mean, I probably could be friends with some of them, but I moved to another country, so I'm not bothered.
RE: Are your old fundy friends still your friends? - IFB No More - 03-14-2011 02:06 AM
I've cut off contact with all of them. Deleted their cellphone numbers and defriended them on FB.
The problem is that I live only 10-20 miles of them and chances are I could bump into them easily.
The pastor's a highly influential guy in the secular world - he knows how to keep his fundy beliefs hidden and used to be a highly-skilled professional earning a six-digit pay, and knows quite a few important people in the authorities. Same goes his childhood friend who runs the church. It's hard to talk to those guys and I fear the day I bump into them.
Because officially I still remain a (inactive) member there, they technically have the right to screw me up anytime they want.
RE: Are your old fundy friends still your friends? - Katerpillar - 03-14-2011 08:06 AM
(03-13-2011 11:15 PM)chris1000bc Wrote: I was talking to my sister about some of her friends from pcc (we both went there). Some of them were in ensemble and loved every speaker who came to pcc. They were pcc people. My sister was not. So we were talking about how she does not really fit with those people now.
How about you and your friends from fundyland or fundy school? If you went back as you are now...could you stand yourself back then or your friends from there now?
To give my answer:
If I could go back, I would not like hanging around someone like me in high school. I was a hard-core fundy and thought I was right about everything. My friends in college all live states away, but were all good guys who didn't drink the fundy cool-aid.
If I could go back now to let's say, 7 years ago, I'd react a whole lot differently to the garbage I heard. I would've missed out on some lessons I learned, though, so it's good that I can't go back.
RE: Are your old fundy friends still your friends? - GraceThruFaith - 03-14-2011 11:40 AM
I see my fundy friends every week because I still attend my fundy church. As fundy as the pastor is, most of my friends are not hardcore fundies who are dogmatic about what they believe. And almost all of my friends attend the fundy college nearby.
It's weird because it seems like everyone here has experienced the fundy lifestyle where not only the pastor is dogmatic about his convictions, but even the members are about theirs. My fundy church isn't like that...at least when it comes to the members. My friends love me too much to separate from me if they found out I drink alcohol every once in a while.
RE: Are your old fundy friends still your friends? - Perry - 03-14-2011 12:08 PM
I too an still attending my fundy church, but I believe if I left fundyism physically (I've already pretty much left mentally), I would still have them as acquaintances (depending on how much I "change") but I would be the object of sermon illustrations and gossip. I have heard too many judgmental bits of gossip for me to believe they would not talk about me (any more than they probably already do. I've never been very close friends with any of them despite my attending most of my life there).
RE: Are your old fundy friends still your friends? - LMcC - 03-14-2011 07:14 PM
I couldn't stand myself if I had to put up with my Fundy self. Half of me would want to strangle the kid, thus creating the time-travel paradox. The other half would be slamming the kid into deprogramming. (Granted, back then it would have required the whole freaking summer because I was so deep in it.)
AFA the friends go... that's been interesting. I've re-connected with a bunch of them online, and we all run the spectrum of beliefs these days even while some of them claim they're still good Baptists. Quite a few like me better now.
RE: Are your old fundy friends still your friends? - Joseph - 03-15-2011 01:27 AM
(03-13-2011 11:15 PM)chris1000bc Wrote: How about you and your friends from fundyland or fundy school?
If you went back as you are now...could you stand yourself back then or your friends from there now?
Well, fundy friendship is by definition an oxymoron. They don't want to be genuine or honestly open with anyone unless they can use the pretense of that to lure you into trusting them for what they need you for. And they really don't want you to truly be genuine of honest with them either. That could lead to all sorts of light eventually being shined down the rat hole, can't be having that now.
Don't know if that answers your question or not.
RE: Are your old fundy friends still your friends? - IFB No More - 03-15-2011 03:42 AM
(03-14-2011 02:06 AM)IFB No More Wrote: I've cut off contact with all of them. Deleted their cellphone numbers and defriended them on FB.
The problem is that I live only 10-20 miles of them and chances are I could bump into them easily.
The pastor's a highly influential guy in the secular world - he knows how to keep his fundy beliefs hidden and used to be a highly-skilled professional earning a six-digit pay, and knows quite a few important people in the authorities. Same goes his childhood friend who runs the church. It's hard to talk to those guys and I fear the day I bump into them.
Because officially I still remain a (inactive) member there, they technically have the right to screw me up anytime they want.
Guys, I am somewhat bothered by this issue. I do not want to formally associate with the fundys anymore, even though I'm inactive for quite sometime. The moment I am free from the membership, the preacher will have no more right on-the-paper to spiritually abuse me anymore and will just treat me as an outsider. They seem to be leaving me alone for now, with hope that I may come back in the future. Or *sarcastic* maybe an accident or bad event will happen that will make me flee back to fundyland. But I still have the feeling I'm being watched.
Sorry fundys, I don't want you to ask me how am I. I'm fine. I'll never be fine in your eyes. I don't read your Bible version. I break your rules. I disobey your doctrines. You should be thankful to God that I'm still attending church when the majority of people you drove away abandoned Christianity completely. You don't consider an evangelical your brother or sister in Christ. Even conservatives like Piper or MacArthur are too liberal for you. Even those from Bob Jones (since they are not KJVO) are apostates in your opinion!!! You are not God. You are just a human being. Human beings with great responsibility. And since you fundys believe in "local church only" and "no universal church", you won't allow me to resign or transfer me to a non-IFB church. If I leave, it means I'm leaving the body of Christ, which means you have to mark me a hell-bound sinner.
I need advice, dear SFL friends. This is honest. My time is running out and sooner or later I will bump into the fundys again.
RE: Are your old fundy friends still your friends? - elfdream - 03-15-2011 08:25 AM
If I bump into them in the street I will be cordial and ask how they are and about their family. They will ask where I'm going to church and I tell them....and I admit I get a kick out of seeing their reactions.
But once they are out of sight they will be out of my mind.But I am not 'friends' with them. We do not associate with each other socially. We do not 'hang out'. I have moved on and have a whole new circle of friends now.