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An IFB Baptist Easter: a rant - myotch - 04-08-2012 03:31 PM
For my fellow former IFB'ers (especially my fellow current Catholics), you have to know that the famous Jewish Mother Guilt and the as-famous Catholic Guilt have nothing, absolutely nothing on Baptist Guilt (especially when said guilt emanates from one's Baptist mother).
My brother is Southern Baptist, but he lives 35 miles away, has 4 kids and 3 grandkids of his own, and he wasn't going to take my mom to her church. My sister lives right around the corner from my mom, but she's Methodist and keen on taking her grandkids to the non-denominational church that caters to their young age group. So...mom turns the heat up on her remaining son, the Catholic, to take her to church on Easter.
It's not that big a deal. I mean, not going to Mass on Easter is, like, a pretty big sin. But to the Catholic, Easter is a season, not just one Sunday. (Any Mass attendance where the Eucharist is taken between Easter Sunday and Pentecost Sunday counts as the Easter obligation).
I think of the greater good. My mom's in her final years. All her kids know it. Most of her grandkids know it. She's moved into a retirement complex, she can't drive, she can't take care of herself anymore. If she wants to visit her church on major holidays, birthdays, I'm gonna make sure she goes and for me and my family, we are going to be with her.
Her pastor and I went to school together. I'm two years older than he. He talks with a manly cadence, but also has a very slight lisp and another speech impediment I can't quite put my finger on, but it kinda sounds like he's slurring just a tad. All that, mixed in with him seeming that his mind works too fast for his mouth, he's just simply hard to comprehend.
By IFB standards, he's "libral". There's a drum set in his orchestra, and Powerpoint serves as the church hymnal. He claims the church isn't focused on what you can't do. (laughable).
I'll tell you what you can't do. Make arrangements with family on a holiday Sunday based on a 12:00pm service exit.
His sermon related his recent family camping trip with our needs that only Jesus can fill. We got the powerpoint slideshow, and he pulled one of the youth up front to put on a 70 lbs pack (he seemingly forgot about the poorr kid in his easter best and a half-full ruck sack - the kid stayed up there til the altar call). Pic of wife plastered 10 feet tall on the wall next to the baptism, after her hiking 4 miles and worried about her 3 year old's feet. (previous slide was picture of his poor bruised toes, close up, badly bruised - he had thought it was frostbite on their kid's feet in 80 degree weather. Good thing they backtracked to the firestation, who calmed their frostbite fears and referred them to the hospital [point: Christ is our physician]).
I'm thinking this is going long. Like a few minutes long. I check my cellphone clock - 12:04pm. OK he's wrapping it up. He has to know that people gotta see family on Easter, right? He sends the kid away (whose 35 minute presence was actually needed for 2 minutes if at all. But what was I thinking?
A prayer. A rather long prayer. Then the choir starts in with Just As I am. You know how slow that song is? They sang it like soul singers sing the National Anthem - reallllllllly sloooooow. 4 stanzas. Pastor is confusing all the heads bowed and eyes closed - raise your hand if you're sure your going to heaven. Now raise your hand if you aren't sure. This section....Now this section...."I see that hand"....Then an altar call.....Really freaking long altar call. Announcing the two names of people who got saved. Clock - 12:20. Final prayer....an invitation for everyone to come shake the newly saved hands....invitation for evening services.....announcements....12:26. We are supposed to be at my sister's house in 4 minutes.....
I really have to wonder why I go to these services. I keep hoping he'll say something about Catholics.
Mother's Day and my Mom's birthday are in May. /rant
RE: An IFB Baptist Easter: a rant - Elijah Craig - 04-08-2012 03:42 PM
I'm Baptist but am a little more "high church" than most. I mean I've been in some backwoods Baptist churches who are not high church at all, and they are absolutely beautiful in their own way. Backwoods (American) Baptist Churches up here don't seem to do altar calls-- seriously.
I have a pretty strong negative reaction to things like cancelling church on high holidays so people can be with family. On Christmas and Easter I want to hear hymns. They can be modern hymns like what the Gettys put out, but I want them to be hymns. They can have more modern instruments, but I want some respect for tradition.
I guess what I can appreciate about backwoods Baptist churches is that they might not be aware of the grander traditions but they at least have respect for the Lord and for the holiday. Too much of what I see in more mainstream evangelical culture makes me want to spew. I thought about going to an Episcopal or Presbyterian service this morning.
RE: An IFB Baptist Easter: a rant - Tiarali - 04-08-2012 06:14 PM
Shouldn't your mother's church care enough about the older members of their congregation to manage to find some way of getting them there? And what about taxis?
RE: An IFB Baptist Easter: a rant - laurat99 - 04-08-2012 06:23 PM
I'll go to Michael's tomorrow for some fake jewels for your earthly crown. j/k
What you did, you did for your mom. You knew going in that it would run long, be pointless, and irritate you to no end, yet you did it anyway. You are setting the example for your kids how to honor their father and mother. You did the right thing.
RE: An IFB Baptist Easter: a rant - boymom - 04-08-2012 06:26 PM
We didn't go to church. We had donuts and read the Easter story and discussed various issues of religion and faith. Then we had Chinese takeout and Pizza Hut. We eschew tradition. Although that sermon did sound like a doozy.
RE: An IFB Baptist Easter: a rant - myotch - 04-08-2012 08:30 PM
(04-08-2012 06:14 PM)tiarali Wrote: Shouldn't your mother's church care enough about the older members of their congregation to manage to find some way of getting them there? And what about taxis?
It's right out of the area where her assisted/independent living facility will bus. The church's bus ministry is focused on kids. (The church has a school, as well. Not sure what "camp", but the Pastor went to Temple.)
Taxis are cost-prohibitive. Mom's facility is 10 miles away from her church, in the next county.
I had to also take one of her friends, a 17 foot tall woman with really bad arthritis and in her late 70's. 5 minutes to put her in the car, about 7 minutes and several ushers to get her out of the car. Luckily, her son picked her up from church, or mah head would have asploded.
I do wish there was some transportation to get my mom to her church. I'd like for her to go every Sunday. She like the people at her church, and socialization has been hard for her at the home. She needs...a reason, right now. She's walled herself in, venturing out only during lunch, dinner, and the days my brother takes her to get her hair done. Weekly church would be awesome for her. It's just that no one in my family can make that kind of Sunday commitment for her. (And nobody wants to - the things she says to her neighbors about Methodists in front of my Methodist sister has infuriated my sis. She doesn't even acknowledge my Catholicism.) My brother is, of course, the golden child, touched by the hand of God, and it's totally understandable why he has no time for her.
RE: An IFB Baptist Easter: a rant - Mommy2Kids - 04-08-2012 10:39 PM
(04-08-2012 08:30 PM)myotch Wrote:(04-08-2012 06:14 PM)tiarali Wrote: Shouldn't your mother's church care enough about the older members of their congregation to manage to find some way of getting them there? And what about taxis?
It's right out of the area where her assisted/independent living facility will bus. The church's bus ministry is focused on kids. (The church has a school, as well. Not sure what "camp", but the Pastor went to Temple.)
Taxis are cost-prohibitive. Mom's facility is 10 miles away from her church, in the next county.
I had to also take one of her friends, a 17 foot tall woman with really bad arthritis and in her late 70's. 5 minutes to put her in the car, about 7 minutes and several ushers to get her out of the car. Luckily, her son picked her up from church, or mah head would have asploded.
I do wish there was some transportation to get my mom to her church. I'd like for her to go every Sunday. She like the people at her church, and socialization has been hard for her at the home. She needs...a reason, right now. She's walled herself in, venturing out only during lunch, dinner, and the days my brother takes her to get her hair done. Weekly church would be awesome for her. It's just that no one in my family can make that kind of Sunday commitment for her. (And nobody wants to - the things she says to her neighbors about Methodists in front of my Methodist sister has infuriated my sis. She doesn't even acknowledge my Catholicism.) My brother is, of course, the golden child, touched by the hand of God, and it's totally understandable why he has no time for her.
I'm sorry this is such a sucky situation for you. You are being a wonderful son. Would checking with the church to see if there is someone who can pick her up be an option? I know our tiny church has elderly members who get picked up regularly by other members.
RE: An IFB Baptist Easter: a rant - pastor's wife - 04-09-2012 05:23 AM
I agree with Mommy2Kids. Someone from that church should have compassion on your mom and take her. I know my parents have been driving out of their way to a different town to bring an elderly lady to their church of about 45 people; they've been doing it for well over five years now. Most afternoons, she stays with them all afternoon too and they take her home after the evening service. (She is a lovely, intelligent, sweet woman and it's a delight to be with her; she's about 93 years old.) Our church picks up and drops off a blind guy every week; he just wants to come so we make sure he's here. It seems the Bible is pretty supportive of churches reaching out to help widows.
One sad thing is that at her age I doubt that your mom will ever put two and two together about how her rudeness about non-IFBers antagonizes her kids and puts off potential help that could be a blessing in her life.
RE: An IFB Baptist Easter: a rant - elfdream - 04-09-2012 06:50 AM
Since you are a Catholic I'd advise you to have a talk with your Priest. Tell him everything you have told us here and follow his direction. Most of them are pretty open minded in situations like this. You are doing your best to honor your mother in spite of her anti-Catholic sympathies.
RE: An IFB Baptist Easter: a rant - exOBCstudent - 04-09-2012 07:36 AM
Lol I actually checked to see if you posted this while you were IN the service!
