Recipe for today’s website pick: take a whopping dose of fundyism, mix in some really bad history, sprinkle with American politics, and stir swiftly until you’ve addled the brains of everyone present.

The pages on Apologetics are particularly worth reading.

Thanks to Jeff for passing this one along.

Today’s website was send along by alert SFL reader Dan and is chock full of the kind of fundy craziness that we’ve all come to expect. There’s information on Science, Cosmology (which one can only assume isn’t a science), and “Biblical Rules For Doctrinal Discussion or Debate.” Plus there’s a whole page on Peter Ruckman just in case you were doubtful as to which kind of crazy is being represented here.

But none of the above can compare to the ringing endorsement of Jack Fellure as God’s choice for President of the United States in 2012. What’s that you say? You’ve never heard of Jack Fellure? Well it just so happens Jack is the candidate of the Prohibition Party (slogan: Nobody Knows We Still Exist). As the old saying goes: “If your party has its convention at the Holiday Inn Express in Cullman, Alabama don’t start picking out your furniture for the Oval Office just quite yet.”

Oh, and the guy who runs the site apparently totes a sword around. So there’s that.

If you are content to attend a church that not only reveres Jack Hyles but also actually bears the name, then I’m not sure there’s much anybody in this world can do for you.

Then again, if you church actually started with all the preaching being done by Jack via cassette tape, then I suppose it makes a sort of sense.

My favorite page on this site is the Teen Valentine Banquet which was themed as “A Night in Paradise.” Apparently, there’s a no touching rule in paradise.

Today’s seasonal selection contains an evaluation of all the problems with various carols in the Living Hymns Hymnal.

Apparently, this guy has never heard of “poetic license” or “hyperbole” or pretty much any other literary device. I really wish he would write a carol of his own so that we can see how it’s done.

Many thanks to Phil for passing this one along

There are fundies. Then there are crazy fundies. Then there are these kinds of fundies who even make most other fundamentalists a little nervous. They are Baptists “like John the Baptist, our Lord, His apostles, and many martyrs.” Well then.

Since it is the season don’t miss the front-page rant on Christmas as spiritual adultery.

This week’s website pick takes us across the pond to the land of haggis and bagpipes, where apparently at least one KJVO sect is alive and well.

Don’t miss all the great articles and animated gifs sprinkled through the site. And since we’re in the season, don’t miss the ubiquitous Santa Claus Rant!

Do you have a small business you’d like to promote online? Are you a fundamentalist? Why pay for two separate websites when you can promote both things on the same page?? Witness while you work!

It’s a great idea if the only people you ever hope to have as customers are your fellow fundies.

This week’s website is the home of Appleby Baptist Church in Nacogdoches, TX and it hits all the fundy high notes in style. Don’t miss the Christ-honoring sermons with titles like “When He is a whoremonger- When she is a whore” and “400 Years ago and the KJ Bible is still so.” (Still so what we might never know but I’m sure it’s lovely.)

Also don’t miss the standard Church Covenant, blatant copyright violations on their music page, and gospel-filled articles with titles like “Interracial Marriages in Light of the Scriptures” and “Baptist Preachers and N—–r Jokes.”

You just can’t make this stuff up.

And when it shall come to pass that thou shalt gird up thy loins and dial up thy service provider with thy modem wherewith to spread the Gospel via e-mail forwards that are almost certainly true, that thou shalt take heed undo the words of this book to follow its commandments for thine own Internet safety. For in the day that thou shalt let thy mouse finger issue an errant click, thou shalt certainly be in a whole heap of trouble.

Knowing this that the World Wide Web is a pit of sore evil and is full of scoffers and mockers and King James deniers and even such as will claim that the old paths could really use some repaving. Thou shalt not read their blogs, or surf their pages, or look at them on the Twitter for they shall surely turn thy heart away from The Truth as was given to thee by thy pastor in his books (which are available on a table in the back of the auditorium after every service).

And if thou shalt be a goodly man and a brave soul such as is fit to do battle forces of liberalism and darkness then thou mayest leave comments and replies on the blogs and websites of scoffers but thou shalt in no wise stay for long for we don’t really do much actual dialog with people in general. And if thou shalt start a blog or a website wherein thou shalt uphold the standards of thy fathers and smite the wicked with clever words and creative spelling then thou shalt not in any case allow those enemies of the old time bible preaching soul winning way to comment or discuss whatsoever thou shalt write.

For in the day that thou shalt start “a dialog” and allow such manner of folk to use “logic” and present thee with trick questions and clever defenses of their sinful lack of standards and liberal lifestyles then shalt thy foot slip in due time and thou shalt begin to doubt. And then we shall all be forced to write blog posts about thee and will not hear thy entreating to allow thee to explain and shall delete thy forum memberships and ban thy posts.

For dissent is the unpardonable sin and an open and honest discussion is like unto it.

Independent Baptist Book of Everlasting Rules and Requirements, Appendix I.

Although we featured soulwinning.info as a FWOTW over a year ago, someone recently sent me a link to this page which is was featured on that larger website. How could I possible resist sharing a manual on street preaching that is featured on chick.com?

What’s really interesting about this manual is that the author is obviously trying to to appear reasonable and nice. He purports to stand against obnoxious evangelism techniques while he himself uses slurs and recalls the time he was tempted to preach “on integration” at a civil right rally.

I salute you, Gerald Sutek. You’re a cautionary tale to us all. Be sure to check out the rest of the content on streetpreaching.com as well

Update 1: Do be sure to check out the photos page as well for lost more fundy goodness.

Update 2: A big shout out to Rob James who sent this link along! Thanks.