The real irony here is that Dave Hyles is apparently the stand-in for God in stopping hanky-panky. If only somebody had been around to stop him too…
Posted by Darrell
He just wanted a three-way. BTW, second.
You landed a knock-out punch on the second post of the thread.
If only… If only… If only… and the list goes all for all those guilty MOG predators!
Shame! Shame! Shame!
He should have been playing the part of the “…roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour!”
Yes indeed, Heart!
Bad in multitudinous ways.
This was a rude awakening, Darrell.
What is this exactly? Part of a book or a flyer?
It’s apparently from a youth magazine put out by Hyles.
Hyles was actually just there to watch them get it on.
was this an ad for coca cola?
That’s how you klnow they’re not Mormon!
Dagnabit George! I was in the middle of fixing that!. (grumble…)
Opposite…this ad could play well in Utah or Idaho, the Coke is in the first frame setting up the further temptations.
If Co-Cola (as Tony Hutson calls it) is an aphrodesiac, I’ve really been missing out all these years. I’m part of a Dr Pepper-drinking family.
I’m not guilty.
The coke made me do it.
Fundy Schoolchildren! Watch out for perverts in the bushes!
My my, that’s a big Bible you have Mr. Hyles
ewww, let’s not stroke his ego, ok? I’m sure Davey has a well worn “pocket” testament he would have been willing to whip out for them if things had gotten out of hand…so to speak.
why, yes, it is a slimline…but its authorized!
My interpretation: They are consulting their yearbook to figure out who the stalker is, then realizing he is on staff and their danger went from mortal to mere administrative.
Over on the forum Meme thread I explained why they are really examining the yearbook…
sooo, while they are getting jacked up on coke Davey is jacking around in the bush with his handbook?
Leave enough room for the Holy Spirit!
Who drinks like that anywhere other than some wedding receptions?
It’s not even grammatically correct.
All I can think of (other then the creepiness of having a guy watching from the bushes) was “eww…backwash”.
Years ago when I was very young and newly married I was the target of some very nasty street harassment while at a red light. Looking back, I suspect the guy was mentally ill, but I was young, it was graphic, and I was highly distressed. My ’71 Plymouth Duster (represent!) did not have A/C and I couldn’t reach across to roll up the windows, so I was stuck gripping the wheel and staring ahead until the light turned.
At the next light I heard someone yell “hey! HEY!” until I finally steeled up and turned my head, all white-faced and teary. It was a deacon from my church. Oh how nice, he’s going to give me some comforting words and make this better. Devoid of compassion he says, “I saw what happened. Just wanted to see how you’d react. Someone always sees you, you know.” And he drives off. It was, to this day, one of the creepiest and soul-crushing things to ever happen to me, and let me know that regardless of all the talk of brotherhood in the church, I was truly alone.
Hey, I learned how to drive in a Demon!
I’m sorry you were left alone to deal with hate. Sad that his Christianity wasn’t more than suit-deep.
So instead of trying to stop the harassment, he just pulls up a chair and a bowl of popcorn and watches the show?
Great deacon you’ve got there, Mr. Church.
He likely couldn’t have done anything to stop it, as we were in traffic at the time, but he could have said any number of things: made a joke, told me it would be okay, told me he was sorry that happened…..anything rather than what he did say!
I’m sorry guys, this thread should be a heck of a lot more funny than I’m making it, but holy smokes did I just get triggered!
Yeah… that’s weird. He was curious as to your reaction but entirely devoid of empathy. In this case it wasn’t just curiousity, but the fact he went out of his way to pull up and talk to you.
Wow, Stony! I keep seeing examples of cold-heartedness from those who purport to follow Christ. Stuff like this shows where their heart is: they care about following rules of “proper behavior”; they care NOTHING about love and compassion — the very things that God calls us to. He wanted to see if you would show the proper horror at sin or respond to the foul-mouthed taunter in an appropriately righteously-indignant way when he should have been caring about YOU.
Sounds like the deacon was mentally ill.
Well, yes. He sounds like a highly-functioning sociopath. So sad.
Stalked by Dave Hyles … that sounds unpleasant.
There is no confusion how much this stalker thinks of himself.
Items like this convince me more than ever that you can spot someone’s own hangups by watching what “issues” they irrationally focus on.
Gold star to you for marksmanship. You are absolutely on target with that observation.
Nothing like saving ourselves by punishing our own sins vicariously in others!
The third frame looks like, “Dude! What the heck?!”
“Oh, uh… I’m looking for my keys…”
Where are his hands?
Just to add to the creepiness, I’m sure I see a wedding ring on her finger. So now we’ve got Hyles stalking married people, informing them of what is and is not acceptable. Oh wait, nothing new there.
It looks like they both have wedding rings on.
And the smugness on David’s face is beyond creepy.
Maybe he’s btdt.
Oh man… that’s really messed up… and funny.
I’m sure they wouldn’t stage a photo shoot like this with people who weren’t married. That would be wrong.
Exactly. Like how it was wrong to watch a movie with kissing in it, because you know those actors aren’t really married in real life!
The “four pictures one word” game answer for this would be “creepy” – I give you a gold star!
I’m gonna assume it’s a purity ring o.O
She’s wearing a ring because that guy is her husband in real life. You can’t have unmarried people posing like that for a photo.
And a married couple enjoying a snog is wrong why?
It’s hard to imagine any kind of hanky-panky that would land you in more trouble than being in the same room with Dave Hyles.
The hits keep coming…
Actually, from what I’ve read, stalking married people was his vice…he didn’t like them young, but married.
He got in too much trouble with teenagers as a youth pastor. He realized that married women were more blackmailable, and less likely to get upset and blab.
Perhaps he’s just upset that his married mistress is cheating on him with her husband….
To be honest, they drilled this into our heads at my Fundy U. If you do something you shouldn’t (read: rampant fornication, or as the world calls it holding hands) someone would see you and tattle. Not that I let that stop me.
I heard that too. It turned out to be just a scare tactic, though. It wasn’t that hard to get into “situations” with no one to report you. But then, the first Fundy U I attended wasn’t fenced in. The second, while fenced in, was not my home. I lived off campus with my girlfriend from Fundy U #1. (Married, of course. Still am. 29 years.)
I think he has a bit of a God complex here. We were always told that God sees every thing we do. He wants to make sure we know who god is. (Either that or he thinks he is Santa. But I am pretty sure it is god.)
That’ll teach those kids to drink Coca-Cola! Soda pop…first sip on the slippery slope to debauchery.
Why, hello, Lester Roloff. So glad you could join us.
That did it..
Thanks alot Gary,
Now I’m nauseaus.
Oh … sorry.
If this was to be a real-world presentation, shouldn’t Hyles have a camera? If the rumor as to how he was caught in other churches is true (church deacon finds Dave’s hidden stash of nudies), I’m certain he would would be snapping pictures rather than stopping the proceedings.
If the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth … He’d find something more important to focus on than on what this couple is doing …
The eyes of Hyles are upon you
All the live long days
The eyes of Hyles are upon you
And you cannot get away
Do not think you can escape them
From night till early in the morn
The eyes of Hyles are upon you
Till Gabriel blows his horn
…(Or he is out of film)
You beat me to it!!! LOL!
I’ve never been IFB, but there were some similarities. One of them was the thought that (a) God sees every little naughty thing that you … whether said thing was naughty or not, and (b) He will pour His wrath down on you for it. My paraphrase of the Bill Bright tract: God hates you and has a miserable plan for your life. This jackass in the photo would have been my worst nightmare come true. Now, I take some of my theology from Dogberry in Shakespeare’s MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING: “O villain! Thou shalt be condemned into everlasting redemption for this!”
So by “the eyes of the LORD: they mean the eyes of Hyles.
BTW, this is the first time I’ve ever seen a pic of this guy. Man, does he ever look creepy. Some people just look as if they should have “registered sex offender” tattooed on their foreheads, or something…..
New Meme Opportunity
In the light of history, this is quite a good find.
Ahhh yes. The Dating Parlor at Bob Jones University. Sit on opposite ends of the couch. No touching!
And I remember the reports about kids at Pensacola CC getting demerits for “making eye babies.” Evidently, if you look into her eyes long enough she will conceive! Oh, of course that isn’t what they mean, but it is ridiculous all the same.
Can you imagine what it must feel like to have all that power the ministers are gathering to themselves? (Evil laughter filters in from the background).
There’s a Bob Jones story which I heard in the mid-80′s (I assume urban legend) that a guy was turned in for lustily staring a girl down and when responding to the accusation in the dean’s office, said that it was a good thing that he was wearing contacts then…too good to be true, but still funny
Don’t assume that it’s urban legend.
Friends of mine had the very same experience. And they are now married lo these 22 years, with four kids.
So, I guess the eye contact (for which they were campused) was truly dangerous.
That’s called Occular Intercourse.
At least making Eye Babies aren’t quite as bad as making Half-Babies.
Give it a minute, it’ll sink in…
I am not sure that Coke approved that product placement.
I will swear on my grandmothers’ graves (one in Michigan, one in Ohio, I’m half Wolverine/Buckeye ) that I saw something very similar in an underground comic years ago. Except that the boy and girl were both Red Chinese, and bonding over the words of Chairman Mao, and the higher-ups were no less sympathetic.
Oh, fundies. Good for a laugh.
That struck me as just plain CREEPY!!!
At BJU, they wouldn’t benignly though creepily grin down at your illicit physical contact. Instead they’d stay out of sight and turn you in behind your back, causing you to get called in before your superiors to be told, “Someone saw you hugging on Paris Mountain!” and you’d have to admit that you were and then you’d have to listen to a lecture on how we were supposed to be a better example than that to all the young people who were watching you (I guess they were all hiding in the bushes too) and then you’d be socialed for a week and not be able to talk to each other even though you were over 21 years old and engaged.
What? Did this happen to me?
That looks like Larry Brown in the photo lurking. He could pass as Dave Hyles’ twin.
There was nothing benign about those people, but they were plenty creepy. And they didn’t grin, either. When my wife and I got summoned to The Presence, they tried for quite a long while to impress upon us the seriousness of our crimes, which we couldn’t even remember, and which they were too horrified to recount for us. We were extremely casual about the whole thing. Once they finally told us what we were accused of doing, we were incredulous. We kept laughing, which made the persimmons upon which they were obviously sucking become more and more sour.
I had reached out and placed two fingertips on my wife’s knee for about one second.
Our crimes took place in October, but they were unable to reach us until three days before the Christmas break, so we effectively were socialed for three days. How much energy they wasted, running us to ground! What a bunch of schlubs.
You touched her knee in public? Shocking!
What’s even more shocking is that our daughter, who obviously was conceived during that intimate moment at Taco Bell, wasn’t born until six years later.
It’s a miracle, ladies and gentlemen. A 72-month pregnancy!
They already drank the Kool-Aid!
If anyone wants to read the Shakespeare play about all of this thread, it’s the brilliant MEASURE FOR MEASURE.
Yep. Been there, seen the play, got the book.
I don’t think the play is among those with a video in the BJU catalogue.
Does anyone know if MEASURE FOR MEASURE has been done at BJU? If so, was there a wave of cognitive dissonance?
One time I dropped my wife off at BJU. She was coaching a girls’ volleyball team and they were attending a camp for the week. We were kissing good-bye in the parking lot and some punk student hollered out of a window, “No PC on campus”. I shouted back that we were married had a license to do whatever we wanted.
And there’s the stupidity of their rules. They are so concerned with certain made-up standards of propriety that they lose sight of what is just plain normal (spouses kissing each other goodbye), what is polite (not yelling at strangers), what is gracious (ignoring behavior that is not criminal even if you don’t personally like it), or what is loving. I just don’t imagine Jesus ever yelling at a married couple kissing goodbye.
They’ve set up their own god — their self-righteous standards — that they serve.
What does “PC” mean at BJU?
It sounds like what I’ve always heard called “PDA” (public display of affection).
“PC” = Physical Contact. Pre “PDA” No physical contact of any kind, even helping up someone who slipped on the ice or needs a hand.
PC = Physical Contact.
That’s how freaky they are. Physical Contact is sin in their eyes.
Very well said!
Something that is normal and pure and sweet and good, a true gift from God for us to experience as young adults and as married couples too, is taken away by a warped sense of thinking and rules!
Hyles-Anderson College was so extremely stringent with their “6-inch” rule! It was so abnormal! That was definitely the catalyst for many of the youth “falling from grace” and being “campused” (privileges all suspended for 30 days) or even expulsion! Oh wait… unless you were the daughter of a leader there or in a singing group or a friend of a friend… well nepotism was well-rehearsed at HAC! The rest of us were held accountable! Marlene Evans called me in one day and told me she… “I’m going to have my spies on you…” With a keen sense of intellect and a God-given grasp of normalcy still within me, it wasn’t long until I walked out of HAC to strive to live and experience the thrills of life that God intended me to enjoy!
It’s like someone said here before that the leaders’ weaknesses become the abnormal focus because they themselves struggle so much with that particular temptation, i.e. lust!
Then they expect these young married couples to fall right into their relationships with ease! —-I wonder about the true statistics of successful marriages of these that followed all those rules! I have seen soooo many fail!
Pw, you are correct but you treat these jack asses too kindly. I could give many personal accounts ofthis backwards ideals. These institutions are a stinking rot that spreads its cancer to poor susceptible young adults. One time at pcc i got called up to the assistant dean of mens office because some one saw me riding in a car with a girl. Well it was true: a week before school started i rode in a car with my friend and his wife who lived in town. These people are as absurd and foolish as the superstitious puritains that crush mens souls to the bland glory of their bland god. I have zero respect and little tollerance for authoritarian cults.
I’ve copied this for distribution to my Shakespeare class to show that MEASURE FOR MEASURE isn’t all that fanciful.
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