Posted by Darrell
I guess we should be thankful that this wasn’t a video clip. One can only twitch so much from a picture.
It’s like he is saying, “Be gone you unworthy peons.”
I think it’s the dismissive hand gesture.
Could be worse. Could be a different hand gesture.
peon is such a funny word! *chortle*
The hover text just made my whole morning!
Mine too! Methinks certain fundies and Mark Driscoll have more in common than they’d like to think.
So glad my coffee wasn’t read yet when I read that.
“Guards! Take him away!”
Or even, “Off with their heads!”… He and the Queen of Hearts are on just about the same sanity level, and both are on incredible power trips…
WHOOO PAINTED MY ROSES RED?!!
You know, when I look back at the pastors, missionaries and lay people who -over the years- I have come to realize were true Saints, the one trait they all shared was accessibillity. They were always open to anyone, anytime. No condescension.
This is so true! The true disciples of Hyles, Schaap and others of their ilk seem to think they’re so far above you they can’t be bothered with you. If they deign to give you the time of day at all, they will hardly listen to you, then give you a loud answer that has nothing to do with what you were trying to convey to them, and send you on your way.
The first pastor I knew in my church in Michigan was this way. I only met with him two or three times over the course of his regime at that church. Each time I barely got a few words out of my mouth before he was answering and then after a long winded answer that had nothing to do with what I’d said, I would say, “No, I meant…” and get the same thing. Once I tried to talk to him about a problem I had with my baptism (done years ago in another church) and he barely listened to me, and just said, “You don’t need to be baptized again.”
A few years later we had a new pastor. Mr Know It All had been asked to leave by the deacon board. This problem I had with my baptism wouldn’t go away. After a year or so with this new pastor, a much more patient and accessible man, I went to him after church on a Sunday morning and asked for an appointment to talk to him. He asked me to meet with him an hour before church that evening. I went in and talked and he listened. He asked a few questions to ascertain everything I’d said. Then he gave me his advice and it was very good advice! He advised me to be baptized again that evening and I was, and since then I have had peace about my baptism. I will always be thankful to him for this.
Now arriving in this city, it’s a long story, but we ended up with a pastor just like the first one. Mr. Know It All. This is the church we just left for another, and the new pastor is like the second one, a very gentle and patient man who did NOT go to HAC. I am looking forward to many years in this church or until the Lord comes!
I found that after we left fundamentalism, the seeds of that treatment had gone deep into my soul and I absolutely am ashamed to admit that our last pastor was like that. I think part of the draw was that treatment. It made you feel special if he ever did talk to you and once in a while he would toss out some crumbs to various people and it would make us sheep wish for similar (good) attention. I think it is a manipulation tactic however because as it turned out this guy was a con man and ended up in jail. Our church is 4 million dollars in debt and various church members lost millions to his con game. They know exactly what they are doing when they treat us that way. It is all part of the overall manipulation. Some of the *more successful* ones come by it naturally. I think Schaap may. He was always condescending when he was in college. I think it might have been what Cindy liked about him. In this way he was like her dad.
Ugh, I hate when I feel convicted to pity Cindy. She was such an arrogant, spoiled brat, at HAC! But, i must admit, growing up in a house with a megalomaniac father, an ignored mother, and a pervert brother, then marrying a buffoon who makes her father’s insanity pale in comparison… Plus, her hair is thinning…okay, I do feel bad about that, too, because what if it is stress? Talk about being trapped in your life….
I didn’t know Cindy. I think Linda was the one I knew. Linda was really sweet and I really did/do feel sorry for her. Cindy always would just breeze past like royalty and she got even WORSE when she and JackHole discovered each other. They gave off a “Don’t even bother trying to talk to us” vibe. (So I didn’t)
Linda was much, much nicer, but after all, we could make the point that how could we expect Cindy to be unscathed by the dysfunction? Perhaps Linda is the stronger person.
Oooooo – I can so relate to this, Sims.
I just threw up a little.
(I think you need a barfing smiley…I guarantee it would get a lot of mileage on SFL! )
Same here. As soon as I clicked the link and saw Schaap, I thought, “Oh, no, gak, gak, gak, Schaap, gak!” (Gak is my word to mean anything rotten, scummy, crummy and lousy and Schaap fits that description to a tee!) At least it wasn’t a video. To think so many people I know in Fundyville are just wild about this guy as they were about his father in law and take every word out of his mouth as though it were gospel.
I wish this man would just go away. Far far away.
May I assume that Mr. Schaap is erm, not lacking in this world’s goods?
So why can’t he get a suit that fits?
(Or on second thoughts, is it his head that’s too small?)
His head is NOT too small. It’s too large. I’m surprised if it fits through a normal sized door.
Well… Yes, but he IS a slimy pinhead. The slime gets him through the doors.
How can such a little mind stay in such a big head without getting lost?
Gee, thanks. I had never noticed before, but this photo does make his head seem disproportionately small. How unfortunate for him.
The suit has to be big, in order to accomodate the alien symbiont controlling his actions. It all makes sense now…
Song for the hover text
“Just as I am, twas easy to see,
but that they eye was cast on me,
And that thou bidest me come to thee
Oh man of gid I come, I come.”
You know if that was true, ….I might have to actually try “responding” to an altar call or two!
“Using your brain is such a difficult task! Just leave it to the professionals.”
Looking around for Sims, who promised me a game of darts, since the photo is such an apt target….
Here I am! I was out buying you a birthday present but then I realized Darrell had started the party without me!
No presents necessary, just your long friendship and a rousing game of darts! Should we aim for the mouth or the eyes? We already know there is no heart…
And actually, it looks like darts is out and Pin The Tail on the Jackhole is IN! (But you may use a dart as the pin.)
Ooooh, even better!!
Oh, hahahaha… Love it!
You would have to be a REALLY good shot….
Ladies, you are all in rare form today!!
You beat me to it, Sims.
I was going to say it looks like time for Pin the Tail on the Donkey.
(Again, I apologize to donkeys. You don’t deserve the comparison, donkeys.)
No, but that word, “ass,” just works so well, here….
You guys are hysterical! Thanks for the laughs!
Stupid phone. No hovertext until I get home tonight. Oh well……
I was going to reply to Bella that oddly fitted suits seems to be a new style, but we know Schaap would never do anything current. That would ruin the fundy cred.
Happy Birthday Seen Enough! A picture for your fridge. Darrell must love you ALOT!
I think he must live us all, to do what he does. I do think, though, I will use this photo to line the trash can.
OhMyGosh! Your trash can would revolt and throw everything out onto the floor. You better re-think this plan.
Good point. Doggie butt wipe?
Only if the dog is a female.
Love, George, not live! And on my birthday, too! Harrumph! Sims! We are the same age now!
Yes, happy birthday wishes to you! May the upcoming year see the emotional scars fade even more as you rejoice in the pure love of God through His Son Jesus Christ!
Aww, now that is just a very nice, very meaningful birthday wish! Bless you, and thanks!
Thanks; I like to try to do better than just throw a “Happy Birthday” out there.
These guys just make me sick… That’s about all I can say.
Something very evil in me kind of wants to print this onto sticker paper and paper the glass doors of FBC Hammond with it. Of course I would never do that even if I lived in that area (which I don’t) so settle down trolls.
Snap! You just came up with the theme for our Thelma and Louise road trip, minus rapist and cliff scene.
I will trade cars with my son for it!!! (He has a convertable.) Of course it isn’t registered because it has to pass smog tests, and the top needs to be replaced if we plan to drive anywhere with any kind of weather, and we may want to replace the passenger seat because a feral cat had kittens on it… AW HECK! Lets just rent a car!
Oooh, i am all atwitter now!!
Happy birthday, Seen Enough!
Have a happy and Schaap-free year.
Giggle… I will do my best! Thanks!
I see a pattern emerging in these last two posts. Illiterated sermon outline coming?
They both start with Con and end with ion and have two sylables between them.
Any other suggestions? ‘Conflagration’ is the only thing that comes to mind. Oooh, how about ‘constipation’!
I’m not very good at this. All I could come up with was Con Men.
^^^ For The Win! ^^^
As in the world would have been a better place if Schaap’s mom had used that instead of having Schaap?
Good one, Sims. You’re getting the hang of it!
SHRIEKING with laughter here…. SIMS!
Concentration (as in Camp)
actually the proper fundy word would be conception
and of course this generally will be concurrent with consumation
Did anyone say “Condensation”?
You didn’t see mine right above you! That’s ok though. It bears repeating.
“They both start with Con and end with ion and have two sylables between them.”
Those two words have more than two syllables between the “con” and the “ion”, silly.
because it may cause convulsion?
I could do this all night…its fun.
TRUTH. So many of my Fundy memories involve condescension in some capacity–usually a thought-killing, do-as-I-say capacity.
Condescension is usually a cover for insecurity.
Undersized wee wee. Just saying.
That is bad, but it is my birthday, So Sims told me I could. Also, it would explain his over-sized suits.
Condescdension- If i make a big enough deal about your sins, no one will notice mine!
YES! There you have it, exactly.
What’s up with the hands in these last two posts? Is there a subliminal message there? What is Darrell trying to tell us?
Dear Sims and Seen Enough,
You two are so funny together. Have you two ever thouht about starting a blog called Tales From Hammond/FBC/HAC? I would read it if you did.
I have never thought of it, no. Sims just blew out her computer yesterday, while she was wildly celebrating my birthday, so I will have to check with her. Also, she is better at this than I am. There is something delightfully twisted about her snappy comebacks that leaves me helplessly ROTFL. However, I am pleased that we have made you smile!
When recently I was trying to explain to a church-friend why I am as messed up as I am when it comes to churches and various church activities, I decided to try and write as many of my experiences as I could think of (while I still have a somewhat functioning memory and brain.)
I think Seen Enough has read it, but I add to it regularly as I remember more things or as I am reminded of them. FBC Hammond was only the tip of the iceberg for the insanity that has molded me.
I do enjoy it here and if I knew more about how to would be very happy writing a blog. Or maybe I will just try and figure out how to send you what I already wrote. (Warning: You will fall in LOVE with me after that though so read at your own risk.)
Sims, i am a blogger, so no prob there. It is the hilarious ripostes you come up with that are much needed.
I’m not sure I know what you are talking about. You mean I’m funny? Really? Cuz I was totally serious. Totally.
Yes, i know you are. I am commenting about the fact that you are also hilarious.
I found this site a few days ago and my mother and I have been laughing hysterically at how true all this is! (we were both born into IFB homes: she still attends an IFB church.) Entertaining.
Welcome. Interesting named individual. This place is very good for laughing away the insanity. Glad you could be here. HI to your mom too!!!
Thanks Sims! Ridiculously long, isn’t it? However, something that happened so often at my old church!
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