For those who’ve never seen the “cleaned up” version of People Need The Lord as performed in fundy churches, here it is in all its glory.
Posted by Darrell
Very entheusiastic clapping at the beginning….
My Internet connection is slow, so the video is more like a slide show. Is the choir swaying? Not to the beat of course, unless they’re each following a different beat, and swaying to the music is “highly questionable.”
From a technical stand point, I have issue with singers who put an “H” in front of a vowel and have a vibrato wide enough to drive a dump truck through. In fairness, it’s not just fundys that do it, but far too much sloppiness gets presented in the name of “I’m not a very good singer, I’m just doing it for Jesus”
Looks like it could do with some further “cleaning”
Technically speaking that probably wouldn’t even be called vibrato. Since it covers more than one step of pitch, I think glissando might be more accurate!
12step–Oh yeah, been there. It gets worse, much worse when the pastor says “I’m not going to stop someone who wants to sing to the Lord, AMEN!” We had one old man who came to the church specifically because his former church had asked him to stop singing because his voice was so awful! Of course the pastor let him and his karaoke machine get up on the platform every Sunday. “Isn’t that wonderful, everyone? Make a joyful noise to the Lord!”
I was at a small church where an old couple – probably in their 80s – loved to sing. We tried to keep it to once a month, and tried to move them to the PM service not the AM but it got them upset. He’d play the harmonica while she’d sing. They’d often get confused about what part of the song was next and they’d glare at each other and scowl and mutter until they figured out what part to sing next. We who knew them just smiled and tried to bear with it with long-suffering and mercy, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they scared off more than one visitor! They’re in heaven now, making more beautiful music than they ever did on earth.
I’m sure they scared away plenty of visitors. One Christmas Eve this woman finally convinced her husband to come to the IFB church with her. So what did she do? Got up to sing “Silent Night” and was crying so hard she butchered it. Just butchered it. Cringe-worthy butchered it. “I’m sorry, but I’m just so happy my husband’s in church!”
He never came back.
. . .I didn’t know there was any version of that song except the “fundy way.”
And the obligatory “Christian Flag” at the front of the sanctuary. I can still remember having to say the pledge of allegiance to the US flag and then after it to the Christian Flag when I was in private fundy school:
“I pledge allegiance to the Christian Flag, and to the Savior, for whose kingdom it stands. One Savior, crucified, risen and coming again, with life and liberty for all who believe.”
Somehow that’s way better than saying an actual creed.
You mean like this:
“I believe in the inspiration of the Bible (both the Old and the New Testaments); the creation of man by the direct act of God; the incarnation and virgin birth of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ; His identification as the Son of God; His vicarious atonement for the sins of mankind by the shedding of His blood on the cross; the resurrection of His body from the tomb; His power to save men from sin; the new birth through the regeneration by the Holy Spirit; and the gift of eternal life by the grace of God.”
You remember it perfectly!
Except, since it’s American, I’m not sure there is a “u” in “Savior”.
Well, I think that hit most of the points in the Nicene Creed. Quite a few of them, anyway.
every now and then i try to recite the BJU creed by myself, just to see if i can. it’s amazing how much harder it is to say when you don’t have 5 or 6 thousand people saying it at the same time.
Don’t forget the pledge to the Bible. I pledge allegiance to the Bible, God’s Holy Word; I will make it a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path and will hide its words in my heart that I might not sin against God.
My parents used to go to a church where they began Sunday School with the pledge to the American flag, followed by the one to the Christian flag, then the one to the Bible. The American flag pledge bothered me the most, since I didn’t think Sunday School should be limited to Americans.
I had to do all those pledges back in ACE. By the time I hit high school though I just kept my mouth shut; luckily no one looked at me.
Fundyism: It’s not idolatry when we tell you what to worship!
Toodles said, “Fundyism: It’s not idolatry when we tell you what to worship!”
So true…so true!
Or the pledge to the AWANA flag
At the Awana closing programs, I would not pledge the Awana flag. I have no allegiance to Awana. Pfff.
“I pledge allegiance to the AWANA flag, which stands for the AWANA Club, whose goal is to reach boys and girls with the gospel of Christ to train them to serve him.”
Fifteen years of AWANA attendance will do that to you. Anyone want to know the lyrics for the official songs of the club and the individual grade groups?
Back in the early 1990′s, my father was the music pastor of a former GARBC church (the pastor at the time led the church out of the GARBC because of its perceived “liberalism”) that privately told my father not to use any Steve Green songs because it was “Genital” music. Therefore, my dad had to stick with nostalgic John W. Peterson music from the 1950′s and 1960′s
Genital music…? I must be listening to it wrong, then.
What’s Genital music? Sex Pistols?
I guess “Genital Music” must be music that arouses one’s sexual organs into a frenzy…..This version of it might arouse me….to cover my ears!
I hadn’t even heard of Steve Green until I got to BJU, but I believed those who told me that his music, like all CCM, was shallow, unbiblical, and worldly. Of course, I’d never listened to it for myself. When I did, I realized that his music was thoughtful, Scriptural, and passionate but not at all worldly. His songs touched my heart.
Ouch… this is painful. The vibrato is absolutely KILLING ME! Every time I hear this song, I can only think about those missionary presentations, where at the end the is like 20 minutes of random pictures with this song playing in the background. (usually with a fake orchestra performed on the cheap Casio keyboard.)
OMW! That looks almost exactly like our “old auditorium.” I wonder if the same person designed it…?
I mean it, that was painful to listen to.
We are practicing this on Wednesday nights for this year’s missions conference “People Need the Church”. We are changing the words a little to reflect how much the church is a sanctuary of modesty and morality from the sinful world. And we have some missionaries who are coming. I’m sure it’s easy to set up a church in a foreign country where you don’t have to compete with malls and cable television. They are just hungry for something to believe in.
We had an incident in choir practice last week. The Music Minister had to stop a song TWICE because someone was SCOOPING and holding on from one note to the next. I am giving voice lessons to one of the ladies in the choir because she has no vibrato. She grew up singing in a bluegrass family band (which is not nearly as bad as singing rock music because they don’t use drums) and has no vibrato. She is really coming along.
I would love to read the lyrics to “People Need the Church”!
Next, they’ll be coming with “People Need to Tithe” for Faith Promise week…
You are practicing “Sheeple need the Pastor” for Pastor appreciation week as well aren’t you?
Dat you Darrell???? I’m getting sceeeeered!!!
I cannot, I will not click on that link and listen to it. I already get the Fundy twitches with several songs, and I don’t want to remind myself that this one makes me twitch, too.
I never watch these videos. Can’t take it at all.
I have a hard time listening to them too.
I would send more suggestions into Darrel, but can hardly wade through my former church’s website due to all the twitching.
I made it through 35 seconds.
I lasted a little more than 2 minutes. It wasn’t the pitchiness that bothered me so much as the self-congratulation of the lyrics. Maybe I’m just oversensitive — I spent way too many years as a Jehovah’s Witness, and their hymnbook is just crawling with it.
Now I get to listen to great old gospel lyrics like “I’m not a saint, but my name is on the roll.” Or even better, “I know my robe will fit me well / For I tried it on at the gates of hell.”
The video of the three girls singing at this church has someone howling at them.
I’m still trying to figure out what exactly needed to be “cleaned up” with Steve Green’s version, as the original instrumentation is basically just piano and strings.
Maybe these people have super-sensitive ears and can detect guitars, drums and “jungle beats” where the average listener can’t.
The original was probably made with a click track which kept the beat steady, and evoked sexual emotions. At least with this one, the piano was out of tune, and better fit the spirit of the singer. Bastardizing songs in Jesus’ name. That’s what the Fundies do! A preacher played me a version of 4Him’s Basics Of Life which was done at FBC Hammond during their pastors’ school. All the life and meaning was gone when they got through, and that’s fine, because music isn’t important anyway, only the preaching from the man of God.
4Him was one of my favorites, so I would have cringed at having to hear that song as approved by Jack Schaap.
“Music isn’t important anyway.” Yup, this is the attitude from fundy churches. Any time I have to listen to someone ranting ignorantly about music, I just have to go back to the Psalms to get a Scriptural view of music. It totally doesn’t match what the fundies say.
My pastor won’t even preach till he feels the hearts are ready for it. Sometimes, he never gets to preach because God speaks through the music. Put that in your fundy pipe and smoke it.
Fundies donâ€™t have pipes! If you walked in with a pipe, theyâ€™d burn you AND your evil CCM.
that was painful. . .I was a little offended that the guy at the beginning was holding a microphone while singing. It seemed to be the appearance of evil.
Lady Gaga, anyone?
Caught in a bad romance
Want your bad romance
….sorry couldn’t help myself…
Aaahhh, so much better! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! (incidentally,I wonder what “cleaned up” versions of Lady Gaga would sound like?)
I’m pretty sure it’d sound like this: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/65d6878217/christopher-walken-poker-face
“Grand Old Hymn”
I knew it would make sense once we heard it! Although maybe this one should be SCFCEMMS (Somewhat cool, formerly contemporary, emotionally moving missionary song).
Found these when I googled it:
Guest of Honor
GOH Gift of Hope
GOH Nuuk, Greenland (Airport Code)
GOH Government of Haiti
GOH Get Outta Here
GOH Garments on Hanger
GOH General Overhaul (mass transit vehicles)
GOH Gods on Heroin (band)
Don’t think any of those apply!
Merciful heaven! I hope the congregation had earplugs. I can’t carry a tune in a bucket, but I have the charity toward my fellow humans, to, you know, NOT SING.
That is one ugly church. At least paint the wood paneling white.
But then we wouldn’t be able to find the piano!
Well, I’m almost certain this pristine version of a previously worldly-wise ccm song will most assuredly keep the devil away from their services. I mean, why would he need to show up, when it will keep everyone else away from their services, too? (although, presumably, the devil doesn’t put in appearances at the average fundy church anyway. They can produce enough of their own devilry and falsehoods, that the devil really doesn’t need to waste his time there. )
My ears….They’re bleeeeeeding! AAAGH!
Seriously that was bad. The choir was ok, but that guy just could not sing to save his life.
On a side note, why are they hiding their lovely river scene baptistry mural with those curtains? I don’t think I’ve ever been to a church where they actually keep those drapes closed.
Seriously? The choir was wretched too, and in unison nonetheless.
What is it with fundies having a hard time singing anything that is not on the beat? I mean, if it is on the “and” count, that song is just screwed.
Yeah, not being able to count is a pet peeve.
Maybe you’re right. I should say in comparison to the soloist…. Yet either way, he sang 90% of it and apparently thought he was really good when he was much, much worse than the choir.
Didn’t get to actually watch this till I got home tonight. Wow. At times I like the real version of this song, other times consider a bit of cheesy emotional button pushing, but trying to tone it down, and refusing to even attempt to do well with it just makes it unbearably pointless. I was zoned out before they got to the first chorus.
So I watched only 1 minute 20 seconds of this before my teenaged daughter asked my why I was watching the “worst possible version” of that song. I told her “because it was the worst possible version!
I made it through 39 seconds of it before I had to cover my ears.
I don’t know any other version of this song. What was dirty about the original?
The fact that it was sung in tune?
i hate when fundy music gets stuck in my head after watching these videos. they creep out during the day too…argghhhh…i must be filled with the spirit.
but really, i find myself doing a cleansing with “secular” music
i can’t say enough how much i appreciate everyone here. you guys are helping me to heal by leaps and bounds. for a while, coming out of the fundy cult, i felt very alone. it is so good to know you guys feel all those things i do
Glad you’re here to journey with us. Your voice and your input will help us as well.
I actually went to Johnny Pope’s church about 5 years ago when they had the Steve Green himself giving a concert in the evening service. Yes! It’s the church I went to through my teenage years, very IFB. I thought they went all liberal bringing him in. The concert was very, wait… no really VERY boring. All the songs sounded the same and I wanted to go to sleep. Why in the world did we think he was CCM and wild in the 80s?
I never understood why certain styles of music and certain beats were supposedly “sexual” when the music is as far from it as you can get.
I realized when I got to college that the college choir pieces were often more challenging because the beat wasn’t always ONE-two-THREE-four, there were songs with syncopation and other time signatures than 4/4. lol
Ive noticed, at least in my corner of the world, that when people leave fundyism and start using their new found liberty to enjoy some secular music, they usually have horrible tastes and either listen to something that was cool 5 – 10 years ago or something that is commercially processed like lady gaga.
could someone please teach this guy 4/4 conducting pattern!
Oh, the flashbacks!!! Especially seeing the Christian flag. I want to form a support group for former ACE students with shock therapy to help wipe out the memory of the Lovejoys and Pudge.
“in all its glory” — ugh! that should be “in all its gory”
I’ve heard the “cleaned up” version many times, but always by people who could carry a tune.
Darrell has managed to find the worst version I’ve ever heard.
After hearing this, I’m guessing several people ran screaming from the Lord.
*winces at the pitchiness*
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