He’s getting cannier about knowing that people are going to fact check him. Notice that he makes a point of mentioning that this is “that this is only his opinion” and will be on YouTube.

But then he goes on to mocks the ‘freshman theologians’ who are going to disagree with them and says they haven’t ’studied it as much as he has.’ He’s claiming it without claiming it to leave himself wiggle room. It’s subtle but it’s there.

I suspect that a lot of those skulls full of mush are going to leave that room telling it as fact because it’s what their preacher believes.

Since we’re in the season, this weeks’ FWOTW was selected for having one of the most over-the-top anti-Halloween pages that I could find.

Not content to merely call this Satan’s holiday, this author makes the case that Halloween actually hails back to Baal Worship, cannibalism, incest, and (worst of all!) Roman Catholics.

Be sure to check out the rest of the site as well.

Of all the ways to celebrate a fundamentalist church’s 70th anniversary, I just wouldn’t have foreseen an entry for “Get a John Wayne impersonator” as being anywhere on the list.

One can only assume that Texas fundamentalists are a breed unto themselves.

Pastor RA Smith lays it on the line, Bless God.

If you’ve ever heard a preacher multiply the number of cubits in Noah’s Ark by the width of the wilderness tabernacle and then add the numeric equivalent of the Hebrew letters for the word “potshard” to come up with proof positive that there will be a pre-tribulation rapture…you might be a fundamentalist.

Admittedly the above example is a bit extreme. Therefore, in the interests of accuracy, please consider this real life example that I am not making up from the website of the good folks at Gethsemane Anabaptist Church.

Number 9
Fruit of the Spirit. (Galatians 5:22).
Galatians is the ninth book in the New Testament. It is spelled with nine letters.
Holy Bible is spelled with nine letters, as in King James.
Isaiah 9:6 promised fruit from God.
1611 adds up to nine.

For more numerology fun and games check out the meaning of numbers site from biblestudy.org.

thanks to James for the link

As a rule, fundamentalists firmly believe that all sex education should happen at home between children and their parents. If the parents happen to be absent, immoral, or too timid to have ‘the talk’ then the fundy church provides them with a safe, caring environment where they can learn…pretty much nothing. Sorry, kids! Maybe someone on the Internet can help you out.

The Bob Jones high school biology text notwithstanding, education about matters reproductive in fundy schools often consists of thundering chapel messages about fleeing fornication. Even there, some kids who haven’t gotten the scoop on what “fornication” means may only know it happens at public schools and liberal churches and probably has something to do with breaking dress code and watching late-night television.

If you were old enough to vote before someone clued you in to where babies really come from…you might have been a fundamentalist.

If you think that wayoflife.org is a hoot to read, try listening to all 5 parts of David Cloud’s sermon “Dangers Facing Fundamental Baptists.” I double dog dare you.

The thing that is so impressive about 21tnt.com is not the site itself but rather the enormous number of fundy sites that are listed in a single place.

It’s amazing how in one place you can have someone who lauds Jonathan Edwards, Jack Hyles, Charles Spurgeon, John Wesley, George Witfield, Charles Finney, John Bunyan, and Lester Rollof — and evidently has no idea how absurd it is that those names are all on the same list.

Be sure to also check out the the links to Independent Baptist “news sites” with names like The Baptist Pillar, Baptist Fire, Calvary Contender, Lion of Judah, and (my personal favorite) The Flaming Torch.

Even if you removed all the words and just left the tone of voice, you’d still know you were listening to a southern fundamentalist preacher.

“You tell me the kind of music you like to listen to…and I’ll tell you what kind of person you are.” — Frank Garlock

I found this gem over at The Basement Rug (an awesome site for lovers of vinyl, btw). It’s from an LP record entitled The Big Beat ~ A Rock Blast in which Frank Garlock among other things claims to have to have listened to and analyzed more than 2000 rock songs in a single week.

If you can sit through all 83 minutes of this amazing performance, you’re a better person than I am.

Some notable bites

13:30 listening to good music can increase your eyesight by 25%

13:56 we learn that plants are killed by rock music.

16:47 cutting edge research from 1971 shows that…well…something or another.

20:04 department stores use music to hypnotize their customers into buying more

21:31 Music played for mental patients helped them improve only if the musician was mentally stable. Music played by mentally unstable people made mental patients worse.

On a side note, watching Frank with Spanish voice-over is incredibly trippy.