Even though the school year is still early in the Fall semester, things are already heating up in the annual Ebenezer Baptist College  sermon contest with preacher boys looking forward to smiting their opponents on the church platform. This year sees two formidable contenders emerging from the field of expository behemoths: Reginald “Reggie” McDonald, a [...]

Preacher boys occupy the lowest rung on the fundamentalist ministry ladder.  Above them are the youth minister, Sunday School superintendent, music minister, associate pastor, senior pastor, and finally, pastor of the church that runs the bible college where the senior pastor got his degree. Below them is everybody else. There are not many qualifications for [...]

If you’ve ever visited a school library, opened a copy of Time magazine and found this: Chances are you have been a fundamentalist. (Unclad bodies are only permitted to be viewed in very expensive religious art galleries.)

Satan’s attacks are a constant topic among fundamentalists, with any number of naturally occuring events being perceived as the direct work of the Evil One. Perhaps these claims of spiritual warfare are familiar… “After living a life where I consumed fatty foods every day and never exercised, Satan has attacked my body and given me [...]

Fundamentalists take great pleasure in divining the hidden reasons behind tragedies. Everything from car crashes to cancer are found to have hidden causes of great significance. And usually it means someone is being punished. Perhaps the most famous examples come from the sermons preached in the aftermath of hurricane Katrina as preachers thundered their message [...]

Want to reach the folks in the cities around you? Take one gospel tract designed by someone who is completely ignorant of contemporary culture. Add a dash of bad grammar. Throw in a thinly veiled dig at urban minority culture in general. Shake well.

Fundamentalists take a fairly pessimistic view of most things including their own spiritual condition. They tend to look down on those Christians who go to church to sing upbeat music and generally be happy, preferring rather to spend their time in and equal mixture of guilt and grief. Repenting of something each time you go [...]

If you’ve ever heard a sermon entitled “A Plethora of Pentateuch Principles for Preventing Pre-Teen Promiscuity and Potent Punishments for the Perverted Participants” chances are it was in a fundamentalist church. (I’m out of town traveling on business this week so updates are likely to be a little sparse.)

Because Easter is 1. Pagan 2. Roman Catholic 3. What Everybody Else Calls It.