The love of money is the root of all evil. But that fact notwithstanding, some fundamentalists evidently believe that fake one-million dollar bills make a great way to spread the gospel. Consider the draw. A million Dollars + Ronald Reagan + Heaven!!! A gimmick like this one just can’t go wrong. As an added bonus [...]

You know that annoying kid in school who loved to brag about how General Lee was his great-great-great-great uncle’s second cousin twice removed? When that kid grows up to be a fundamentalist, he’ll probably be a huge fan of the the book The Trail of Blood. Baptists as a denomination have only been around for [...]

In a fundamentalist church near you… **Warning. Gratuitous King James Language Usage**

If you have never had the pleasure of reading Tales From the Temple by James T. Spurgeon, you must immediately quit your job, ignore your children, and sell your livestock to spend every waking moment reading it until you are done. There simply aren’t words to describe these stories, so it’s best if you read [...]

Whether it’s tapes from Patch the Pirate or the yearly Christmas cantata where someone dies, Ron Hamilton and his company, Majesty Music, have an honored place in fundamentalism. After losing his eye, Ron Hamilton girded up his fundamentalist loins, donned an eye patch, and and took on the persona of “Patch the Pirate”, a hero [...]

It is a truth universally acknowledged that if a fundamentalist home contains a VCR it must also contain a tape of the Sound of Music. The importance of having this movie on display next to the TV may not be readily apparent to the uninitiated but to fundamentalists it’s every bit as important as keeping [...]

Praying to bless the food at restaurants is a badge of honor among fundamentalists for to not bless the food would be tantamount to a rejection of Christianity itself. Also, it presents an opportunity for outreach to all the other tables around you and (if your voice is loud enough) the kitchen staff as well. [...]

On the campus of a fundamentalist college…

Have you ever heard a sermon based on the differences between eros, phileo, and agape? Can you never remember not knowing what Koine Greek was? I’d dare to bet that at some point you have been a fundamentalist. Fundamentalists believe that the King James Version of the Bible is the only accurate translation that has [...]