Comments on: Courtship

By: Don

Don — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 06:47:29 +0000

Ok Henry you called the dance. Defend the Courtship model. Go ahead you get to start. Defend the courtship model and document your position.

By: Henry

Henry — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 04:22:16 +0000

Not surprised that you don’t like courtship, Darrell. It’s just not “cool”, is it?

I see that you have to resort to mockery here because you cannot win the actual argument.

By: Natalie

Natalie — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 23:47:22 +0000

I’m sorry, but I don’t want the responsibility of choosing a spouse for my kid, because if it goes wrong, guess who’s to blame.

By: exIFB

exIFB — Thu, 23 Sep 2010 20:50:27 +0000

Oh boy.. this one brings back memories. I remember one guy in my IFB church. He was 30 something, but I think he must have approached every girl in the churches parents, and asked if he could court their daughter. He also asked many women who were first time visitors to marry him. The young guys at church had to act as distractions. Either talk to the new girl first (which was awkward, because she probably thought we had the same intentions as this other guy), or, talk to the guy, which was an ordeal. He would ramble on about the Orthodox Church and how people don’t really know but the Jesuits had also started them and they were a greater threat than the catholics and so on.

He was very desperate. The final straw was when he asked the Pastors wife what the dowry was on her daughter. He was dead serious. I am dead serious. This guy was bonkers. The pastor told him to leave. No idea what happened to him. I felt sorry for him. The pastor tried to match him with this woman who was trying to marry so she could stay in the country. I don’t remember why, but he said he couldn’t marry her. Anyway, was really weird situation.

I loved that church

Preacher nights were great. The pastor would ask anyone to raise their hand who would like to preach and most of the guys did, above guy included. But the Pastor would act like he was invisible. Even if no other hands were up and this guy was, he would just say something like “well, I guess that’s all we have time for tonight” and preach himself. I never heard him, but apparently once he got up, he would never shut up, and would just repeat lines he heard from Jack Hyles. I wish I could have heard him preach.

By: Apathetic or whatever

Apathetic or whatever — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 19:21:40 +0000

I read the book. I met the author. I had the author sign the book. I then discarded the book. I am glad that I did.
My parents picked out a girl for me to marry. She was dumb as a brick so I objected. They picked someone else out for me I objected because I did not get along with her at all. Seriously, they wanted me to marry someone that I could not stand.

I then found a wife that my parents did not like and still have trouble liking. She has been my rock and I do not know how I would live without her. I literally thank God for her every day of my life. It has been almost a decade since I fell in love with her for the first time and it gets better every day.
I shudder to think what might have become of my life if I had followed the courtship model. I do know one thing that would have happened, I would never have met my wife.

If I were to sit down and type up a list of what I would want in a wife I would come up with my wife exactly. (Minus the pollen allegies and the weird in-laws. I took those out per her request. )

Courtship may work for some or even most. I do not know. I do know that I have seen it ruin many lives. I am thankful that I did not acquiesce to the pressure to “court” and instead dated.

By: Jason

Jason — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 18:49:38 +0000

I find that the opinions in IKDG and BmG are just that… opinions. I like the thought process that the book proclaims of guarding your heart (Prov. 4:23) and trying to not make decisions based on emotion, instead on a foundation of knowledge and trust. Every time I tell someone I read the books and I let them read them, I remember to tell them that they should form their own opinion on the matter and that these books are only there to help guide you with the help of God – study them and make your own plan with His help.

By: Jordan Maria

Jordan Maria — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 00:22:11 +0000

I was told growing up that if I dated, I would be “giving bits of my heart away”, Eventually when the one God wanted me to marry came along, I wouldn’t have anything left to give and I’d be ruined. I never understood that. I remember asking, “What about someone who’s wife died and then found someone else to love years later? How do they have any heart left?” And of course the typical answer when someone is uncomfortable….. “Well that/they dont really count.”

By: Rob

Rob — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 00:56:06 +0000

My parents decided that at 20 I should get married to the youth pastor’s daughter. She was 19. They were following Paul’s exhortation in 1 Corinthians that it is better to marry than to burn. So rather than face judgement for having premarital sex, (and being good, obedient IFB’s) we married at a much too immature age. It lasted 9 years.

By: RJW

RJW — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 16:53:26 +0000

Parents who want to over-control their children (who are actually becoming young adults) love this stuff.

By: Hannah

Hannah — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 17:47:10 +0000

You know what’s funny? Even though the author of that book is one the main leaders in my church’s family of churches (oh, just call it a denomination and be done with it!), his book isn’t really that huge among the young people or their parents. The Fundies treat that book like it’s a lost part of the Bible, but to us, the members of the Sovereign Grace church family, it’s just another opinion, and opinion most of us don’t actually follow. LOL