Somewhere back in the beginning of fundamentalism (about two-thousand years ago, to hear them tell it) there was evidently a law made that if a fundamentalist church runs a Christians school, and if that school has a sports team it must bear the name Eagles, Crusaders, Knights, Warriors, or Conquerors. Female teams will bear the [...]

Fundamentalists may not care for Calvinists but they do tend to turn to them a lot for source material. One great example of a Presbyterian work that fundies adore is the McGuffey readers, published in the 1800′s by William Holmes McGuffey a “roving” teacher and Presbyterian Calvinist. Look on fundamentalists’ bookshelves and more often than [...]

Fundamentalists may not engrave the Scripture on the mantels of their doorposts but they do like to post it up just about everywhere else. Nothing says “Howdy, neighbor!” like a big sign posted on the lawn bearing the message “BUT ALL THE WICKED WILL HE DESTROY” Or, if that isn’t forceful enough perhaps one with [...]

Have you heard that there was a rare red heifer born in Israel; the kind needed to sacrifice for the rebuilt Temple? We must be nearing the end times! Did you know that Proctor and Gamble support the church of Satan and put a Satanic symbol on their products? We must be in the end [...]

The topic of hair (referred to by the great Dr. George Irving Barber as “Hairology“) is of great importance to fundamentalists. On men, hair is to remain short at all times without exception. Even if that means cutting it off with a rusty kitchen knife, it is a well known fact that a few errant [...]

Before there were multi-media presentations, Veggie Tales DVDs and interactive flash-driven websites, there was…flannelgraph. Flannelgraph boards were simply scenes painted on a piece of flannel to which paper characters could be affixed. They were the height of visual aided storytelling. These boards were very popular in fundy Sunday School classes because they were cheap and [...]

According to unnoficial fundamentalist dogma, the height of perfection in hymn writing was reached somewhere around 1947 and any music written after that point is automatically suspect. Fundies view CCM artists as tools of Satan to tempt young people to turn the fellowship hall into a dance hall. CCM artists view fundamentalists as the musical [...]

Jesus may have come to bring a sword but most fundamentalists prefer the cold steel of a Colt .45. Throw a rock into any crowd of fundamentalists (if you dare!) and you’ll hit a gun aficionado with surprising frequency. It’s not quite clear why God and Guns go together in fundy circles. But with things [...]

You can keep your liberal CD’s full of CCM music and liberal preaching far away from fundamentalists. Yes, sir, fundy churches are still in the business of churning out cassette tapes in the ubiquitous “tape ministry” that graces the back table of many an Independent Baptist sanctuary. As the preacher breathed the last “amen” (pronounced [...]

Grace Livingston Hill lived from 1865-1947 and in that time she managed to write hundreds of “Christian Romance” novels which continue to grace the shelves of fundamentalists households everywhere. The writing in these books is squeaky clean. The heroines never say a bad word, have a bad thought, or really do anything at all except [...]